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two sick people in love

Posted: April 13th, 2013, 7:33 am
by holdfast13
My boyfriend and I are both mentally ill. We have had our share of ups and downs, but through it all we seem to make it work. I think it works because we truly understand each other and are able to fully communicate our needs and feelings openly and honestly.

I am diagnosed with Bipolar II, major depression, and anxiety.
He is diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, anxiety, and has a past of severe and horrifying sexual abuse as a child.

That all sounds like a recipe for disaster, huh?
We're both fucking crazy... but also crazy about each other and comitted to each other. Comitted to each other's wellbeing, happiness, health, and constantly are each other's rocks and anchors. We've learned how to deal with each other in constructive ways. We've learned how to ask how we can help when the other partner is having a "moment". We've learned to tell each other what we need in specific circumstances. We are also comitted to improving our mental health by staying on our meds, staying with counselling and never ever missing a doctor appointment or med dose.

We've dealt with so so much in the short 6 months of being together. We were friends for a year before that, so we sort of knew what we were each getting into. It's been extremely difficult at times, but totally worth it.

I think the key to success for us is: openness, honesty, not afraid to ask for help from each other, open communication, mutual support, and love. We also want to see each other be the best people we can be. We both know we can never fix/heal each other from our past hurts but we can navigate the mine field with grace, understanding, patience, determination, effort, and love.

We are so in love and are planning to get married next year. He is the best friend I always wished I had. Someone who loves me unconditionally and will never abandon me or call me crazy.

I just wanted to share our story in hopes that others will be inspired.. to know its possible to have a healthy relationship despite being so fucked up. ;)

Love,
S.

Re: two sick people in love

Posted: April 13th, 2013, 9:29 am
by MizLzie
That's really lovely! Really wish a friend of mine would take my advice and listen to the podcast & visit this place. I think she would find comfort in your story that it's possible for someone to love her with all her "issues". That she doesn't have to be the one who is always fixing herself and hiding shit, lest her boyfriends think she's crazy, too emotional, angry, needy.. and every other word you can think of.

Re: two sick people in love

Posted: April 14th, 2013, 7:31 pm
by Cheldoll
This makes me happy! I think openness and honesty is the key to success for any couple. Suffer from mental illness probably made you both less judgmental, more accepting, more willing to work through tough times. I wish you both the best :D