just putting this out there

[adrivahni]

This is not particularly original and the imagery is basic bordering on hackneyed and trite. But it's a visualization that helps me when I'm lying awake in the middle of the night desperate to be free of my thoughts. The more vividly I can imagine this, the more it helps.

I'm walking on a path through the woods. It's kind of dim and over-shadowed. I'm walking very slowly and painfully because I am carrying/dragging a lot of very large iron boxes which are wrapped around with chains. Think Jacob Marley in a Christmas Carol. The boxes and chains are heavy and covered with rust and dirt, and have left raw places where they have rubbed against my skin. The biggest of the boxes is my fear, followed by hatred, and a bunch of smaller boxes with my worries and anxieties.

I come to a clearing in the woods, bathed in sunlight and with a small brook running through it. I realize that I'm not actually chained to the boxes -- I'm just carrying them. I slowly put them down one by one, letting them pile up on the bank. I let go of fear. I let go of hatred. I can feel the weight lifting off of me as I drop each box off on to the sand.

When I have let go of all the boxes, I step into the stream, and let it wash me clean of the rust and dirt. And in this visualization the stream is compassion, and the sunlight is love (I told you this was trite).

When I step out onto the far bank, I can see that the raw places are already starting to heal. I know the scars will remain to remind me of the pain I felt, but they don't have to hurt anymore, and will fade with time.

I look back across the stream at the pile of boxes. They look smaller, and are beginning to crumble and break apart. I know it's okay to leave them there.

I turn and continue on my path, bouncing a little with the lightness and feeling warm and safe. I know that if I find myself burdened again, all I have to do is put the boxes back down. I am not my fear. I am not my hatred. I'm someone worthy of being loved, who can give love.

So there it is. I feel pretty stupid sharing this (hey look, there's hatred and fear again). I'm sure the minute I hit "submit" I'll want to delete it. This is me reminding myself it's an anonymous forum. This is me reminding myself to be brave and take risks. This is me saying "Oh for god's sake. Post it already".

[MizLzie]

Love that.

[JTP]

Thanks for posting this.

[adrivahni]

Thanks so much for the positive feedback.