YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

I keep wanting to post something interesting in this section but I honestly don't feel like I have any interesting talent or creativity. I don't know that I really ever have. Guess what I"m good at, office work. That's it. I think I'm reasonably intelligent but don't have a degree and at the rate I'm going, with my ongoing issues (depression, anxiety, ADD, insomnia), I feel like I probably never will. So I'll never have more than an average job and will always be lowest on any work-place food-chain. Yes, I'm grateful to have a job and good benefits, but I feel like my job is crushing me. I do some volunteer work and it brings me some satisfaction, but honestly the high of my volunteer work makes the low of real work even lower. I guess I'm just feeling crummy as another weekend ends and I'm facing the hell of tomorrow at work and I'm whining a little. But geez, I wish I just had one talent to express, something to lift me up a little. The fantasy of course is that I discover a talent that lets me earn a living doing something I love, not get rich, just make a living. Eh I can dream.

Okay-- so you're not exactly a master artist. You're probably not going to be able to make art for money. So first get your mind in the right zone-- that creative outlets are simply for the catharsis and happiness they bring to YOU. Don't even start thinking about what other people will think about it. Do some of these things with the mindset that ONLY YOU are ever going to see/read them:

1. Freewrite for 20 minutes about ANYTHING. The only rule is don't stop to think. If you can't think of what else to say, write "I don't know that to write I don't know what to write" until your brain catches onto something. After your twenty minutes is up, go over what you wrote and see if there's any material for a poem or a story in it. Re-write it using a thesaurus (if needed), replacing common words with more descriptive ones. See what you can come up with.

2. Collage. Old magazines, scissors, glue/tape, and something to stick it all to. Don't get too concerned with having a theme, just grab stuff that sticks out to you. See what you can come up with.

3. Go into a dark room with a pencil and paper and draw blind.

4. You say you do office work, so I'm going to guess that you might become more inspired by structure (I certainly am) than by more "free" kinds of challenges. Does that make sense? For example, if I have a pen and paper in front of me and I set out to write a poem out of thin air, I get caught up on stupid things like the flaws in my handwriting and can't think of anything to write about. So do it backwards: find writing prompts online. There are TONS of them, for every kind of writing you can think of. I like poetry prompts where you're given a word or a general idea, and you have to put it in a particular format (a Shakespearean sonnet, perhaps). I think some people just work better this way, and just because deadlines and guidelines are necessary for you doesn't mean you can't be creative or make art.


Can anyone else add to this little list?

@iamjunkshit Thanks for your suggestions. I always admire people who can express themselves, even if only to themselves, without fear of judgement.

I firmly believe everyone has an talent. Also; mental illness does NOT dictate your future. I have multiple degrees and have been 5150'd over suicidal actions. All colleges provide free mental health services to their students. You can easily have someone to watch over your mental health while you're attending school - even if it's part-time. If it's something you want, there is a way to ensure your academic success REGARDLESS of the situation (mental or financial).


Continuing...

....you don't have to be creative to have some kind of emotional outlet or talent. Actually, school would be a fantastic way to not only improve your skills and knowledge, but to explore your possibilities. If you are indeed good with clerical work, you could apply for some kind of office job at a community college or four-year university. When you work for the school, they often provide free or severely reduced tuition for their employees. If you couldn't find a full-time job, you could apply for work-study positions (guaranteed employment, but it's a max of 20 hours per week at minimum wage), grants, and other scholarships. If it gives you the chance to explore your mind and capabilities, the student loans aren't so scary. Believe it or not, the government is VERY negotiable on student loan repayment, as long as you make the payments. All schools have these departmental and one-time scholarships offered and advertised on campus only - I used these to cover about 1/3 of my bachelor's degree costs.



So, I've given you a novel-length reply to demonstrate the possibilities. All you have to do is call the school - you could opt for going as an undeclared major initially as you explore the courses. Last I read, most schools allow a 2-year span to make a decision. If you opt for a community college, you can get your Associate's - this is a degree that basically covers your general education courses. You can transfer the degree to fulfill the requirements for most public four year universities. You may have to take one or two courses as each city/state has special requirements your CC may not offer.


If you're good with clerical work, you may excel at business management, degrees centered around math, hell, maybe even computer science options!


Don't give up on yourself now. Even if you get a degree and don't end up in that specific career, from what I've read in this paragraph, you won't regret it. I firmly believe in learning for learning's sake - you learn about your mental capabilities (strengths AND weaknesses). It develops your overall cognition of the world, how you cope, how you interact, your work ethic, and your overall quality of life. Even for people who are intelligent but insanely intelligent, there are so many ways to fund your exploration. I'm an example of this! My undergrad tuition rates were $30k per year and my grad tuition rates were $20k per year. Of the 6.5 years I attended school, I should be holding about $170k in student loans. I have about $35k.


If you want help, I would be MORE than happy to give you advice and places to search. I know the financial system of public universities VERY well (both as a student and as someone who taught for one). I mean this completely - I can help you. I'm a teacher. I love doing this very thing.

I got so excited in my reply I left off an important word, lol


*Even for people who are intelligent but not insanely intelligent, there are so many ways to fund your exploration."

What I meant by that is you don't have to be an insane intellect to get scholarships and admission. What you need is a strong work ethic, determination, and a very good admissions essay.