YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hi all.

I am grateful for a recent happy event.

How can I express appreciation to the universe?

What do you suggest?

Do something good/nice/thoughtful/something something positive for someone else purely to share your gratitude? By that I mean, not to do it to feel good, but simply to pass along the feeling? Smile at people you go by during the day? I guess the "pay it forward" idea.

Also - are we twins? It seems like I can relate to nearly everything you post.

MizLzie,
Hello and thanks for the advice. I will report back my implementation, however modest.

We could be genetic twins if you are going on 37, have dark hair, and greenish-brown eyes with flecks of gold.

If not, we perhaps share genetics of hope, perseverance, and concerns for others. That is how I am at my best, and I see the same qualities in you.

Go out look up at the night sky and whether you believe you're talking to God or to stardust, simply say: "Thanks, I appreciate good things." God or the universe probably wont literally say: "You're welcome," but if you're not instantly hit by a lighting or meteorite, you should just assume the message has been received positively.

Hey all and thanks for your advice. I implemented it:

@Miz: I sent good vibrations of happiness and health to people who hurt me. This includes a clergyperson who drove me from the church, and the fellow who is dating one of my exes. I wish them well. Hard as it is/was to do.

I also chatted up lonely looking people at the grocery store.

@Fargin: Upon reading your advice, I strode outside and looked at the sky. I felt a moment of transcendent connection. Worthy advice you gave me!

A little tougher test:

I had a temporary job, and noticed one of my coworkers, and she gave clear signals that she noticed me.

As I was about to leave for the final time, I confided to my coworkers that I was a moment away from inviting her out. They squealed with delight.

I invited her out for a geeky adventure, and politely declined with the implausible reason that she works "every day".

A few minutes later I was stewing about it. I thought to myself, to my discredit:

"Her friends were excited about me asking her out. I hope they give her a good c*nt-punting."

I immediately took that thought back. I sent her wishes of good romance and happiness this summer.

Lesson: sometimes things hit a little close to the heart and the pride, and I can be petty. But I want to do better.

I am trying.

Fantastic Oak! Glad to hear. And I totally relate about your story at the end. Sometimes we just need that moment to get the frustration out of our brain before we can look at it and go... wait, it wasn't that bad at all!

Update!

I've continued my gratitude behaviors, spending a moment here and there when my unconscious alerts me.

I have continued to send out good vibes (some would call it "praying") to people I am grateful to, and people who I perceive have hurt me.

I cleaned out my car, closet, and garage. Of the stuff I don't use, I sold what I could, gave away what the thrift store can sell, and threw away the rest.

Example: I had these old undershits that had all sorts of holes and stains. While I dress well, I was holding onto these undershirts. I finally threw them away, I don't miss them, and I feel much lighter.

Also, I had a bunch of change laying around. I can use quarters and dimes, so I collected the pennies and nickels and donated them in the coinstar.

Since I am a fit man with free time, I decided to offer to mow the lawn of my friend's elderly friend this summer.

I also returned library books I wasn't reading, and paid off the $3.50 I had in overdue fines.

I balanced my checkbook, and I wrote a sincere email of appreciation of a bank teller to her corporate/district management.

I've let people in a hurry go ahead of me in the line at Chipotle.

I put on latex gloves, got a plastic grocery bag, and went around my favorite park picking up trash. I collected a bottle of water, a beer can, two dog poop bags, and several plastic wrappers.

For a long time I equated, as they say, not being able to do everything with a decision to do nothing.

Now, like the starfish story, I am taking small steps. I still have improvements to make. But for today, right now, I have a lot to be happy for.