YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

I cant seem to filter my language around my son. I swear constantly around him and it makes me feel like a terrible example. I hung around the house with my dad a lot when I was little and watched him fix stuff and unfortunately with that came a nonstop barrage of cursing due to not having the right part or smashing his finger or any of the hundreds of annoyances of being a homeowner of a fixer upper. I didnt know there was anything wrong with swearing until I got in trouble for repeating it..I actually find it a little humerous as an adult but still I dont want my son to pick this habit up from me. My husband makes me feel super guilty about it too. Are there any tricks to stopping the bad habits of our youth when we become moms? I feel embarrassed about it and feel like I sound trashy to other people. How do I change this habit for my son's sake or is this silly to even bring up?

practice saying "sugar" for "shit" and such

or have a "swear jar" where you save up for a trip to the comic book store with your son, or something

but I don't think it is right for your husband to guilt you out about swearing, it is a bad habit, but not worth feeling guilty about

I found that using close enough words works for me "funk" "spit" "buzzard", it takes a little while to get into it but it works to curb the habit.

I can't really give any advice about how to stop swearing, but I can share my own experience with it. I've always been the type to swear a lot and loudly, but after my husband and I had kids, he began to be very touchy about it. I have toned it down a lot, but I still do it fairly often. I honestly don't feel that swearing is inherently "bad" or "wrong." I think a lot of the guilt we get about it has to do with others judging us to be bad parents (or low-class or trashy or whatever) if they hear our children swearing. I just don't buy into that. My children have said swear words a few times, but frankly they're far more likely to use "poop" as a swear than an actual swear word. The important thing to me, is not that my children never swear (because they certainly will at some point) but that they understand the cultural context of swearing and when it's appropriate and when it's not. I wouldn't allow my children to swear at other people, or to scream bad words indiscriminately around other people, because that's a matter of respecting others, but I wouldn't punish my children for swearing like I've seen some parents do. We simply have a conversation and move on. And honestly, trying to quit swearing altogether would be a real bitch.

Personally I use "Shmuck" it combines Shit and Fuck and your kids can repeat it in public.

I am not sure how old your son is and if he is old enough understand, but we have a rule in our house that if you are 16 or older you are aloud to swear. We do make some exceptions, which we have explained that if they really hurt themselves and they ask, we will often let them say one swear. We explained to them that swearing at people is unacceptable and that we need to respect others and therefore swearing outside our house in not allowed. We also explained to the kids if they do swear around their friends it most likely will get back to their friends parents which may result in a loss of a friendship. My kids are old enough to understand that and we have had no problems. My husband and I look at swears as just words and it really is the way you use them. If you hurt yourself and say Shit, that harms no one, if you call someone a F***, that is another story. Hope this helps.