YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hi All,
Been quite a while since I was on here. Have been dealing with depression, anxiety and PTSD for a long time. So it seems I actually have bipolar II.. Initially I was shocked (and uneducated). Once reading up on it - yep that's me. And it is rapid cycling.
No change in meds yet but it will be coming in the next month or so. I am crying all the time, irate and have this unsettled feeling. I never knew I was having hypomania - I just thought it was one of those like getting back to my old normal. Here is what I am struggling with now. I thought I was open about living w mental illness. Now I find myself ashamed again and not being honest about this. I just want to scream but when the word bi polar comes up - I see friends and family holding their breath, rolling their eyes or just an over all scared look...
Will this pass when they see I am still me - just with a new label?

Hello imnotcrzee.

Diagnosis labels are pathetically variable from one clinician to another. I wouldn't let the label get you down - you could see three other professionals and get three other labels, if you wanted to. The labels are a stepping-stone to effective interventions and positive self-actualization.

Please take care, all the best, we here are all cheering for your greatest today and tomorrow!

Hang in there. The longer you are stable the better things get. Saying your disease is "in remission" helps, it points out it's a medical illness not "fucked up in the head".

Thanks guys. Appreciate the support.

Welome Imnotcrazee (great handle).

I was diagnosed with Bipolar II last year - at age 47. It felt like a punch in the stomach but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. It helped me put a lot of my life experiences into some sort of context.

I'm still struggling. Even on medication (Lamictal and Wellbutrin) it's still hard for me to catch up to the bad thoughts in my head. And it's even harder reconciling the thoughts to reality. I'm at a bad point in my marriage and I'm out of work. But I'm getting better and stronger.

Be brave... we're all here for you.

Hi Imnotcrzee
I'm a 36year old male and I just got diagnosed 7 weeks ago with Bipolar II, but I'm a high functioning Bipolar. Which I have no idea what that means, but my doc seemed impressed.

I'm right there with you on the telling of people about being bipolar. I was so excited that I finally had an answer for my I was such a fucking mess. But others didn't. My wife flipped out and took it horribly. My in-laws are hush-hush about it. My wife told my sister, and I had to be cool about it, but inside I was screaming "She's my sister! I wanted to tell her". This coming from the woman who told me right after I told her not to share it with people. So, yeah, mixed messages. I'm finishing grad school hopefully soon and will be on the job market for a teaching job. I was told by my wife to not tell any prospective principals about my diagnosis. Yeah, duh.

It's a sticky wicket trying to navigate all this shit. I want to just tell people and be all "whatev's, it's cool". But there's so much pressure to NOT say anything, I don't know who is safe to tell and who isn't. And if they are safe to tell, how do I tell them in a way that insures they don't freak the fuck out? You say your bipolar and everyone thinks your Angelina Jolie in "Girl, Interrupted". Believe me, I wish I was too.

I just signed up, but I'm going to keep checking in here just to see where everyone is. Its heartening to read so many thoughtful posts about Bipolar and feel like I'm not the only crazy person in the world. Thanks guys and gals.

I have very specific criteria for whom I tell...

1 - Do they need to know - my wife, my doctor, one of my sisters....
2 - Will they handle the news well - that eliminates my mother, my other sister
3 - Will they be supportive - ditto on mom and sis.

I told a very close friend (old girlfriend actually). Her reaction was to say that 'everyone's a little bipolar now and then.' I came to asking her if she thought everyone was a little diabetic or have cancer now and then.. but I didn't.

If you are feeling bad about a bipolar 2 diagnosis I highly recommend you read this book:
http://www.amazon.com/Bipolar-Creativit ... 010&sr=8-3

He suggested that when properly managed hypomanic states can be quite beneficial. I assume that's a controversial statement, but the author is clearly a well-respected in his field.

From amazon:

RONALD R. FIEVE, MD, is a psychopharmacologist and professor of clinical psychiatry at Columbia Presbyterian Medical Center and the author of two books: Moodswing and Prozac: Questions and Answers for Patients, Family, and Physicians. He has published hundreds of scientific papers in the field of bipolar and depression research and has contributed to many scientific books and publications. Dr. Fieve lives and practices in New York City.

Another reason not to sweat the label: I've had my diagnosis switched back and forth from bipolar 2 to generalized anxiety with depressive episodes and back again pretty much every time I switch docs. The important thing is that what they suggest actually helps you!

I told a very close friend (old girlfriend actually). Her reaction was to say that 'everyone's a little bipolar now and then.' I came to asking her if she thought everyone was a little diabetic or have cancer now and then.. but I didn't.

Love this!

I can totally identify with you on the hypomania. I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 in late 2012, and what I thought was long bouts of depression with few periods of "normal" was actually hypomania. I thought it was my "normal". I'm still learning who I am apart from the illness.

I have to be really careful on who I tell about my condition. In my family, only my hubby and my Dad know. I disclosed to my supervisor that I'm on meds because my job sometimes requires that I get up at awful times of the morning (1A or 2A) to travel to the job and I need to make sure I have enough sleep since the meds make me sleepy, so I take them at night. That bastard went into my coworker's office and told her that "I couldn't get up in the morning", so I wouldn't be assisting on this trip. The person who he told is a close friend of mine, so my coworker let me know what had happened. I felt scared that everyone would think I am crazy, or incompetent.

My hubby and Dad listened to my explaination of bipolar disorder without judging. Extended family would not be understanding. Coworkers, I would say, aren't on that need-to-know list. But that's just me.