YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

I've been diagnosed with rapid cycling bipolar. It may be ultra rapid but I'm not sure. My moods change by the day and most of the time they will change several times in one day. It's so painful and feels so terrible. I never know how I'm going to feel when I wake up in the morning.

My anxiety is really high today.
I have few friends.
My family doesn't know how to deal with me... So I just close myself off. Hide in a cave.


Thank you for letting me rant.

S.

Read your post. Please take care. Thinking of you, all the best to you, and may you have just enough wisdom and courage to go beyond coping and transcend into your greatest tomorrow.

You need to read "Manic: A Bipolar Life" by Marya Hornbacher. She also has rapid cycle bipolar. I think that book could be of help to you.

I have started a new med, Lithium, 4 days ago.
My head feels clear and I feel balanced.

My pdoc is going to take me off the anti depressants, one of which I have been on for 13 years. She believes I will benefit more from the mood stabilizers alone. It's scary as fuck, but I am doing it. I will try anything to feel better. To feel normal.. well as normal as I can be.

So now, I'm on the Lithium as well as Lamictal, Trazodone, and Effexor which I am slowly titrating - will be completely off of it at the end of may.

I've also found that healthy eating has made a tremendous change in my mental status for the better!
High fiber, lots of fresh foods, and tons of flax seeds are making me a happy girl.

I'm happy you're feeling happy now! I know what you mean about eating well. It's crazy how much of a difference it makes. Keep us updated as you get off your meds. It's a dream of mine to eventually get off of anti-depressants, but none of the doctors I've seen seem to think it's a possibility for me.

You're right about healthy eating. It's tough for me when I'm in depression - I alternate between not wanting to eat and wanting to raid the fridge. But when I stay on the straight and narrow - and add stuff like fish oil and fiber - I'm in good shape.

Also get some exercise. Fresh air is the best anti-depressant.

Glad to hear the change in meds is effective so far. Rapid cycling can be really scary.

My wife has type-2 bipolar disorder and can fall into rapid cycles when she is having issues with her meds. One thing to watch out for is some anti-depressants can cause rapid cycling or trigger it. We tried an anti-depressant that was effective for her mother when we were trying to rebalance meds. The thought was that if it was effective for an immediate family member than it might help my wife. Unfortunately this was not the case. She hadn't even finished titrating up to the recommended dose before she started cycling super fast and hard. Not fun.

She's now on a similar cocktail to what you are on. You may not have the same experience as we did, but it's something to be aware of.

It's really hard for others to understand what you are going through. Even with the best support network often times people just don't get it.

I hope you continue to see improvement. Best of luck

When I first really started showing symptoms at 18, I was ultra rapid cycling. In the span of a day I would be the strong as fuck independent that could handle everything (I just needed to try harder) and within a few hours I would be meticulously planning my suicide. I was such an anxious wreck I would take bathroom breaks every 10-15 minutes at work to add new cuts to any patch of unmarked skin I could find. It's been a bitch, but 11 years later I am mostly stable and very happy thanks to medication, therapy, and support. I have only had a few rapid cycling moments like that since and its usually caught before it gets too bad. Typically it means I just need a serious med adjustment or have to re-evaluate life stressors. I wish you peace and strength. I know how traumatic that ride can be.

Cheers.

I've been cycling like that, but I don't know if it's rapid cycle bipolar for me. Its so exhausting. I hope it works out for you.