When the doctor or system disappoints you...

[Delirium]

I started seeing a psychologist about 3-4 years ago. She recommended I start medication which would have to be administered through a psychiatrist. I had an initial aversion to medicine, but as she put it, "I'm climbing a mountain with boulders strapped to my back. Medication helps. You still have to climb the mountain, but he boulders are smaller or gone completely."

So...I was seeing a psychiatrist she recommended. She was very religious and I'm not sure we went a visit without her trying to impress upon me prayer, religion, faith, etc. I grew up in a religious family and was very involved in church up through high school. I know about religion. I also dated someone for 4 years (college) who aggressively tried to convert me to her way of thinking. That coupled with some other experiences and the state of well...being depressed, left me very little faith in anyone...myself, people, humanity...or a "God".

My last visit she wrote me a prescription for prayer. I mean she literally wrote it on the pad. 2x daily, kneel and pray...with some mumbo jumbo questions to ask "God". It wasn't until that point that I was offended. I felt like she was making a mockery out of not just my illness but basically mental illness in general. I went home, told me wife. Well, my wife googled the psychiatrist and we find out that the state medical board has recently (within the last 2 years) disciplined her for unprofessional conduct. Apparently she had some substance abuse (I think alcohol) and was ordered to refrain from providing medication to her family members. It also noted that she had an inappropriate sexual relationship with a patient...which isn't too surprising cause I always thought she dressed rather provocatively.

Part of my "baggage" is sexual compulsion or addiction...especially during manic states. So naturally, this combined with the whole bible thumbing was a problem and I made a decision to stop seeing her.

Now, I'm running out of medication (Lamictal, Prozac, Klonopin) and am having a helluva time finding a doctor that will take me as a new patient or one that doesn't have a history of bad reviews.

I'm worried about what's going to happen when my refills run out and I still don't have a doctor. Feeling really let down by both the doctor and the mental health profession.

(sigh)

[weary]

Do you have a GP/primary care doc that would be willing to prescribe them, at least to let you taper off even if they are not comfortable being your primary med person long term? In the state that I used to live in, psychologists/psychopharmacologists did all of the antidepressant etc prescriptions, but where I currently live, the regular docs are more than happy to do it. I think it has something to do with insurance rates or something that it might not be as lucrative to be a psychopharmacologist here.

Good for you for ditching the unprofessional doc, though. Not something you should have to out up with at all.