Depressed and newly sober

[darthdiddy]

Hello anybody reading this. I'm a fairly long time listener to the podcast (I have 8 hours of work to kill mon-fri), and it has helped me out a lot in the past and I feel like it's time to reach out a little bit. I quit smoking weed 28 days ago and spent about 4 or 5 weeks in an intensive outpatient treatment program for that.
At first when I quit everything was feeling great, and it seemed like life was a bit brighter. I got diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and got on some mood stabilizing drugs, so things were starting to look up. Now though, the "pink cloud" period of sobriety has ended.
I find myself sitting in my apartment staring at my desktop wishing I had a game to play, a person to talk to (my smoking friends don't talk to me anymore), or a place to go. I browse netflix for hours without watching a single movie or show, honestly nothing brings me any joy anymore.
I am trying to find AA meetings that work with my schedule but it's a nightmare (I work 3:00pm-11:30pm), and there are literally 0 support groups for depression or anxiety in my area. Can anyone offer any insight, or hope for this horribly hopeless situation?
Life feels like a prison and I tick the days away like a prisoner making tally marks in his cell wall. There is no escape. Sorry for possibly burdening anyone with this wall of text or my own fucking issues, but any advice would be much appreciated.

[manuel_moe_g]

Hello darthdiddy, welcome to our little forum.

If suddenly the things that used to give you pleasure no longer work for you, that is a classic sign of depression. Besides the mood stabilizing drugs, you may need to start taking meds to raise your mood. Or you might try to use talk therapy to deal with depression, or natural remedies like physical exercise, or a combination of different things.

I would continue to look for support groups, but if your schedule is a mess, then online can be a substitute that gives convenience although you lose the direct human touch and voice.

For now, please use this forum as a resource, and contribute to the threads here, if you feel you might gain from it.

Please take care, you don't deserve this suffering, I am sorry that you are currently in a dark hopeless place, but please remember that the majority of it is in your mind.

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Low/No Cost Mental Health Resources

United States website to find sliding scale "low/no" cost mental health services. Also information on medication assistance: NeedyMeds - Free/Low-Cost/Sliding-Scale Clinics U.S. Database

Discussion of low and no cost therapy resources, even in usually under-served areas: Maria Bamford podcast, Episode 95, Jan 04 2013 at minute 6:00.

If you think you might need this resource, then you definitely need this resource - please check out the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network - RAINN at RAINN.org

Google searches for low and no cost therapy resources, even in usually under-served areas: your town or county + one of these terms:

• low cost counselling service
• sliding scale counselling service
• CMHC
• community mental health
• community service board office

From this MentalPod board - some places to get help for people with limited resources:

• Help for little or no money
• Best Insurance Companies/Types for Mental Health Care
• Links for More Mental Health Info/Suicide Hotlines

Here is a post and thread on Reddit about getting medication at low or no cost: Community Assistance Program, accepted at Target pharmacy and many other pharmacies

Cheers to you, for scrolling all the way down to the bottom of this copypasta!

[oak]

Hey darth.

My impression is that you are a little further along than you may realize: you are sober and have a job. Good for you! Those are awesome facts.

May I offer a little tough love, offered kindly?

Sometimes a sense of meaning, contribution, accomplishment, and purpose can help with the blahness of life, with ennui.

See what I am getting at?

A good to place to look first is at your job. If your supervisor encourages you to listen to podcasts, or de facto doesn't mind, then go for it.

On the other hand, ask yourself: "How can I be more valuable to my employer? What can I do today that will please my boss?"

Working hard at our job will not cure depression.

It will give us structure and a sense of worthiness for contributing to something bigger than ourselves.

That is just my two cents.

Remember, instead of picking up your substance of choice, pick up a phone and call a friend.

Good luck out there.

[darthdiddy]

Thank you to the both of you, I already noted in the subreddit post that I get a lot of physical exercise (biking due to no car) and am currently seeing a therapist, so I've got those things going for me. Thank you Oak for pointing out that I am in fact doing much better now than perhaps I was 3 or 4 months ago. It is definitely hard to see my own progress because it happens so slowly and painfully, but is much more apparent to those people who are around me. I love listening to the podcast and others at work, I only dread the day that I get to the bottom of the list on itunes.
It can be hard to find meaning in vacuuming floors and cleaning toilets, but I do take a little bit of joy that I contribute (even in a small way) to the education of the kids in my community. Again, thank you for all your kind words. They helped me get through another day.