YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

So as I've mentioned on here (I believe) I am currently doing cognitive behavioral therapy. Learning all sorts of coping techniques that I think will be really beneficial outside of therapy. I've been with my current therapist for about two months. But, I find it really odd that we have yet to ever discuss my past other than the first initial visit. It's all about the present moment and having a future of wellness which I totally get, but shouldn't he know where I'm coming from to help me get there? At the end of one our sessions he did say something like, "Sometimes I forget to ask if you just want to talk. Anything you want to talk about?" Maybe it's he has decided that I'm doing CBT that he is stuck in that mode and not really aware that I'm interested in talk therapy, too? I know I should just bring it up but I'm wondering if this is actually common?

Hello lattejunkie,

I personally prefer to visit the past only when there is a specific way it will help me in the future, in my therapy. I think studies have found scientifically that a future based therapy is the best - it is only in the movie version of therapy where the past holds some key insight that once recovered makes everything better, in the real world it is just hard work trying to make the present and the future the best they can be.

But, on the other hand, if are uncertain about the significance of parts of your past or you are hazy on parts of your past that may have significance, you deserve to be heard, and you deserve to have a therapist who works with you to explore those parts of your past.

I write down on a little notebook what things I want to cover in my next therapy session, and bring my notebook in with me. Maybe that could help you to feel heard and to feel like you are being fully honored in therapy.

All the best, cheers!

I agree with enjoying "future based" therapy. Focusing on how I can improve my future interactions and deal with hurdles going forward is really beneficial to me but I do think its strange to never discuss the past. Sometimes taking a look at a past incident (where I broke down over something or went into a rage) and taking time to consider what was happening leading up to that event is also helpful (i.e. I wasn't sleeping, forgot to eat, stress from work....) and what steps I would take next time or how to notice early warning signs and symptoms has also been really helpful to me.

I don't like harping on the instances themselves, outside of making amends or cutting myself off from unhealthy relationships, I'd rather just take the lessons I can from them and move on.