YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Forgive my rambling post. I am still trying to think this through.

As someone who passes as a "straight white dude", I always thought body image issues were Other.

Two incidents:

1. I wanted to update my profile pic on fakebook with a picture of my sister's Yorkie. The dog was cute of course, but I was horrified by the oval-ness of my face.

2. A few years ago my friend created a little avatar (a "Mii"?) on her Wii. They all looked like us, and mine was the only one with an oval face. It hurt because I knew it was based on reality.

Are these big deals compared to other folks' body image thoughts?

No.

But they did teach me that I am Other. That I am human, and can hurt in the same ways that other people hurt.

I've never thought much about weight, food, or body shape. Now I want to remember my own uncomfortableness with my pictures when I hear someone discuss their body image issues.

I want to extend a little grace to people.

I both envy and despise people who have huge Profile Pictures albums because they change their picture on a regular basis. I think it's awesome that they're so comfortable with their self-image, but I have a sneaking suspicion that they're just fucking full of themselves.

I've always been extremely conscious of how I look -- young American female, so no surprise there.

My latest FB profile picture -- by the way, you should totally add me -- is my mom and I since Mother's Day was this weekend. It's actually a few months old since she's vacationing in Europe right now. I typically don't care to update people on how I look, since... well, I don't particularly want to be updated on how I look, if that makes any sense.

I used to have a really nice pic and someone stole it and made a profile impersonating me, even adding friends of mine.
I now use wallpapers and other artistic pics I like for a profile pic on FB and only friends can see the few pics of me I have posted.
And, anyway, the couple of really good pics I've posted of me look really good and I really don't look like that the rest of year (or years)!
I used to look good and, with the help of makeup and other artificial additives, I have some old pics that look great. But that's not me now.
I don't look that good now, not even with makeup or getting my hair done, etc.
So, my profile pic is a nice pic of something else.

1. I don't use avatars of me, that solves that.
2. I don't use Facebook
3. I don't take pictures anymore one of the perks of being on my own. If I don't want to do something I just don't

This doesn't solve the issue of mirrors but 3/4 body image triggers solved I guess.

I hated pics of me on Facebook. I have this uncanny ability that results in my face looking it's worst when the shutter snaps. On video, I'm not bad. In a still? It's pretty incredible how terrible they can be. I've come to realize that a lot of people share my woe and it takes practice to pose my face in a flattering way. Still. I hate pics of myself...

Perhaps of interest some folks - that FB has been around long enough now to do studies on behaviour. Some that I've read speak about how truly insecure those who constantly change their profile pics are. Sure they may look good, but the constant sharing is only looking for validation.

Chelldoll: I both envy and despise people who have huge Profile Pictures albums because they change their picture on a regular basis. I think it's awesome that they're so comfortable with their self-image, but I have a sneaking suspicion that they're just fucking full of themselves.

Narcissists. What the studies I've read are saying... Makes sense.

*****now - I hope that I don't offend anyone who have large albums and aren't like I've described. I am not out to judge anyone, I'm simply interested in human behaviour and that's what I've read about FB*****

I took down nearly all the pics of myself a couple years ago. Untagged (FYI if you untag yourself, only you are able to retag, at least it used to be like that, not sure now) pics of my that others had up. Avoided most photo ops. And now that I'm off altogether, there's a weird freedom in knowing that no one is stalking my pics.

I rarely change my profile picture because I'm never really at places where my picture is being taken, and I feel like such an attention whore when I take selfies.

I have a volatile relationship with Fakebook. I'm on my third profile now, and that one seems to be going well. I barely add anyone, and my only real profile picture this time (aside from the shameless one with a favorite comedian) is one I took of myself just gnawing on an apple. I guess just because the idea amused me. It still does.

I get tired of the culture of picture-taking. There just seems to be such pomp and ceremony surrounding the idea of "Oh! I'm on vacation! Must take as many pictures as humanly possible!" Recently, I was on a road trip with some friends, and one of them was intent on recording video of some of it. And everything turned out seeming fake, distant, and disinterested, at least to my mind.

So, yeah, I hate the picture-posturing. That's the point. Manufactured meaningfulness is meaningless.

Yeah, I think we definitely all have these parts of our body that can distinguish us. To others it's something the casually notice but to us, we become these caricatures in the mirror with enormous noses or pimples as big as volcanoes. I think I legitimately drew a self portrait when I was 106 lbs and completely tit-less with my breasts swollen and hanging down to my knees. AND I BELIEVED IT! What we believe to be true becomes our reality. But shockingly it is no one else's. So we hide our form in baggy clothes or caked on makeup because we think others are judging our 'flaws' as we do.

When we can embrace all these odd parts of our body and learn how to work with them, then we can feel beautiful.

Alright so I finally signed up for Facebook and all that jazz. My sister managed to hook me up with a profile pic. I'm guessing I'm age 7 in the photo and still I find faults with body parts and posture. I'm lucky in one respect the pic is a little blurry so my face isn't too mangled looking. Still I hate it, I look like a troll. I don't think I'll ever look at myself with clear realistic expectations.