YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Years ago I heard about brave men who, in battle, had schrapnel blasted into their skin. The soldiers survived, and for years afterwards metal would work itself out.

Somehow that story came to become a non-sexual fantasy to me.

(Gross/weird stuff ahead)

My ultimate fantasy is to have differently colored semi-hard foam inserted into my upper legs. The different colors would be for different depths into my skin. They would be the size of chewable childrens vitamins, but considerably softer.

After they'd somehow get painlessly inserted into my upper legs (quads?), I could have the delicious anticipation of them being felt, then partially erupted, then pulled out with juuust the right amount of pain.

Most shamefully, I would relish their earthy smell. If it was one else's smell, then gross! But my own, wow!

This article got me thinking, much as I hate to see babies suffering:



If I was a billionaire I would gladly pay for one set of these imaginary things implanted in me.

In a related way, one of my happiest (and slightly obsessive) activities is tweezing hairs out of my ears. I can get them when they are a quarter inch long (and can feel them at half that). I love the amazing delicious tug/pain they causes.

I see older men with a profusion of ear hair, certainly several dozen. I would gladly, joyfully, pay $100 to feel the sensation of all those hairs pulled out in one sitting.

Lastly, I enjoy pulling out the tiny hairs growing out of the exterior of my nose. That is the perfect type of pain.

I actively dislike tweezing interior nose hairs. (I use a small electric trimmer for that.)

Pulling hair from anywhere else does nothing for me. Just ear and nose exterior.

I must not be the only one fascinated by this:

There is the Citizen Kane of skin extrusion in this footage on youtube of a guy getting three botfly larvae pulled out of his back.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23eimVLAQ2c

I remember watching it every day for a month.

I have long felt ashamed of this. There only person I told was my former BFF; he looked horrified when I told him. This was ironic because his bad habit was pulling his toenails off.

But to each his own.

Oops.

Here is the first article I referred to:

http://news.yahoo.com/two-inch-feather- ... map=%5B%5D

Hey Oak, I have a close friend who finds enjoyment and picking at various parts, especially her toes. While I don't necessarily have those urges, I've heard her share her shame and embarrassment about it many, many times. As long as she isn't causing herself serious damage - who cares right? I may not relate personally, but I know someone who would. That's quite the vivid fantasy too! I'm not at all grossed out and I'm pretty sure I've seen the video you're talking about. Even though I do get the shudders watching it, definitely fascinating!

Thanks Mz!

Because of your post, I have moved on the continuum from "Ashamed/secret" towards "I am not alone".

Always a pleasure to hear from you.

You are definately not alone- not exactly the same but simmilar;

i love tweezing hairs (the more sensitive part of my body the better- there's a ierd satifaction to it) i also love - this is a bit gross - picking dead skin off my feet, but i love it too much and i have in the past picked off too much so it's painful to walk, im trying to reach for moisturiser everytime i'm tempted to pick now, far less disgusting for my husband too as the urge always comes when we're watching tv or something.

And here it gets grosser

I also have a wierd(non sexual) fantasy that ive had since i was a kid in which i slice just above my wrist all the way through my skin to my bone all around and then the same thing just below my elbow- then i can turn the skin and flesh on my lower arm around on the bone so my upper arm is on top and vica versa. Obviously this is a childish fantasy because i sort of picture the bone in my arm being just one white cylindrical pole on which my flesh could spin around i imagine it would eventually heal up but stay spin aroundable. Not sure that makes any sense!?

I wonder if these sort of obsessions are related to feelings of wanting to control our enviroment bing frustrated and turning inwards? as a child i had no agency and had to move around at the whim of my parents and i felt really impotent, now i am tattooed and pierced and very in control of my own body, if not always my life! Or maybe we're just freaks...

But at least we're not alone.

Rebecca, I love it! Thanks for posting.

I love the delicious pain of pulling juust the right hair (exterior of the nose, corners of the mouth, neck).

I feel much better after reading your guys' posts. Much forum love.

I like to tweeze my pubic hairs. Is that weird? I like the pain and can't seem to stop once I get started. Is this OCD?

Hey!

Maybe it could be an OCD if one does it compulsively.

Perhaps you can identify (or not) with the symptoms listed in this wikipedia page:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trichotillomania

I don't think any of you are weird. I think it's awesome we can talk about this stuff.

Gross warning: I get excess ear wax and once or twice a year I have to use some drops to soften it and when I flush it out, it's like a tiny, tiny carrot of wax, and I can NEVER just throw it out. I ALWAYS have to squeeze it, look at it and smell it. And I always kind of laugh to myself about how I CAN'T resist doing it. And the bigger it is, the more satisfied I feel.

Paul

I am fascinated by the results of those Biore nose strips. I'll get excited and point out a particularly large blackhead.