Not sure if my husband raped me
Posted: September 3rd, 2017, 12:42 pm
This was more than 6 months ago and because I have anxiety related memory issues I don't completely remember what happened.
For a while before the incident I had been having issues with oversensitivity during sex and it was really difficult to orgasm because of it. Since sex slowly stopped being fun and started being something that caused distress I ended up starting to just lay back and let him use me, and when that started making me feel empty I stopped having sex almost all together, only giving up and "taking it" when I had to to keep him passified.
My husband got into the habit of asking me multiple times a day every day if I would let him fuck me, and because it was so emotionally painful for me I tried to find reasons to not do it.
One night, after around a month of me not letting him use me, he got really angry and told me I was selfish and a horrible person for not enjoying sex with him and not letting him fuck me. I don't really remember everything that was said, but I do remember that it ended with me sobbing while he was on top of me fucking me.
I feel like I deserved it. I'm not sure if it was actually rape because I'm pretty sure I told him to "just fuck me and get it over with" while crying and he obliged. Is that consent? We still don't have sex often and he stopped badgering me every night for it. I told him I thought he raped me while in a huge almost-marriage-ending fight, and he told me it never happened.
For a while before the incident I had been having issues with oversensitivity during sex and it was really difficult to orgasm because of it. Since sex slowly stopped being fun and started being something that caused distress I ended up starting to just lay back and let him use me, and when that started making me feel empty I stopped having sex almost all together, only giving up and "taking it" when I had to to keep him passified.
My husband got into the habit of asking me multiple times a day every day if I would let him fuck me, and because it was so emotionally painful for me I tried to find reasons to not do it.
One night, after around a month of me not letting him use me, he got really angry and told me I was selfish and a horrible person for not enjoying sex with him and not letting him fuck me. I don't really remember everything that was said, but I do remember that it ended with me sobbing while he was on top of me fucking me.
I feel like I deserved it. I'm not sure if it was actually rape because I'm pretty sure I told him to "just fuck me and get it over with" while crying and he obliged. Is that consent? We still don't have sex often and he stopped badgering me every night for it. I told him I thought he raped me while in a huge almost-marriage-ending fight, and he told me it never happened.