YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hi there,

I'm a 29-year-old in therapy and currently in a very good place in terms of handling my many complex difficulties, including the molestation I experienced at the hands of my biological father when i was three years old. However, I think I was triggered a few hours ago and I really need some perspective on molestation, especially to hear that it's bad from others. I hope this is not too vague- im feeling simultaneously out of touch with myself and my emotions and a strong underlying sadness. I need to hear that what i went through should not have happened to me. Can any of you share with me how you view molestation? Thank you.

Hey.

Welcome to the forum, and thanks for sharing. I am glad to see you are using your voice.

What's going on? What feelings are you feeling?

Hi, Oak. you don't need us to validate it - your disconnect and your sadness are signs that it is wrong. One thing about abuse victims is they learned somewhere, somehow, that coping worked best by ignoring their inner voice. let that inner voice scream - you already know the answer.
Take care of yourself - it sounds like a difficult time but maybe also a time of growth and healing for you, learn the triggers and learn how to protect yourself.

Hi! I was also molested by my father at three years old. I never wanted to believe it, and so i tried my best to forget it. But you and i both were violated. It is just really hard to accept it. I get the feeling you are asking if it is something worth being upset over ( that's what i struggled with), and the answer is yes. If it wasn't you wouldn't be asking. I also struggle with the idea that i liked it or wanted it, and that it wasn't a bad thing because of it. But i didn't like it and i didn't want it, but i also don't want the pain that comes with realizing how helpless i was to stop it. I look at toddlers passing by at work and i can't imagine anyone wanting to hurt them. But in my head i feel like i deserved it. I was a different three year old who was suppose to be able to handle it, and i'm weak now for not being able to get over it. I even have more sympathy for you than i do for myself. I hope you are feeling better. Hug!