Ex-Stalker

[satindown]

Hi - I'm male and I was stalked by an ex-roommate from college who had a romantic obsession with me even though I saw him only as a friend. I'm not gay and gave him no reason to think I was. This went on for a year in the late 90's and really screwed me up with wanting to make new friends through my 20's.

I'm 36 and he clicked me on Facebook a few weeks ago. Of course I denied him and blocked him but this has majorly gotten to me, made me feel unsafe and I've been in a state of dread ever since. Nothing else has happened but I've pretty much shut down - I rarely go out with friends, stay at home, and been fighting depression/anxiety.

Any thoughts fellow MI'ers?

[oak]

Hey, welcome.

I am sorry you are going through this.

I have spent much of my career working with some crazy ass fools, and I have learned that some won't play nice. Sounds like your situation.

Whatever you do, here is my advice: since he will do whatever he will do, I suggest you decide ahead of time of what your response will be, and when he does that crazy ass fool behavior, come down hard and come down immediately.

Here is what I would do if I were you:

1. Tomorrow call 211, then the local intimate partner abuse facilities.

Tell them what you told us.

Since abuse surely knows no gender, keep calling places until you talk to someone who is willing to give a damn about you. It could take one call, it could take five. Keep at it. If you can, ask for a referral (preferably for the abuse-facility staff person to make the introductory call or email) to:

2. Your local police. If possible, meet with the police officer assigned to such cases before you are bothered again, so the police officer can put a human face to your name.

Good luck. Keep us posted.

[satindown]

Thank you, that's really helpful. Didn't know that about the 211. Will keep it in mind.