YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

So, I'm 22 year old college student. I'm working on my depression and anxiety. For the first time and thanks to my mom, I took the courage to see a Counselor and put my past to rest. while i found it helpful, when something bad happens i cant seem to let the negatvie crap go. The past I suffered with was childhood sexual abuse. Not only that but I was in an verbally abusive relationship in high school. As much as I try my best to let the past go, I just can't. Because of this, it left me bitter, negative, angry and afraid to even speak up for myself. What makes matters worse is the sexual abuse was from my siblings uncle.(not biological) the man doesn't live with me, thank god. But I do have to deal with him during family functions. I feel and I know that things still haven't changed. And I have became afraid of things happening again. I know I'm strong and I can fight back. But the negative in me wants me to believe I'm helpless and won't do anything. For those who have gone through the samething I'm going through, feeling alone, negative and just bitter, how did you overcome your abuse? How do you find peace and bring your happiness back? What can I do? I'm tired of being a cry baby weakling. I'm tired of being and feeling weird. I want to be a better version of me, a happy version. But my mind is just a dick and I just want to kick this negative feeling and thoughts to the curb.

Hello Simfan92, welcome to our little forum. I don't have any specific advice to give you, but I wanted to say I am so glad to hear you are working on your depression and anxiety, which is a very self-loving thing to do, and you deserve it!!! All the best, cheers, we here are cheering for you and for your greatest today and tomorrow!

Thank you Manuel I'm determined to get myself together.

Hi Simfan92!
I'm in the midst of my journey and while I don't have all the answers, I've found trauma centred therapy is really helping. My therapist and I work with the emotional side of the brain rather than the reasoning, talk therapy side. I had an amazing release of shame 2 months in and that's changed so much for me. Yes, we have shame even though we did nothing wrong! I'm beginning to be able to trust people.

I get triggered some days. It's hard but I've learned to ride it out and it's accompanied by less and less feeling of worthlessness, and more "here we go, my brain's got something to tell me". Self care is so important. Just take time to do things that make you happy. I'm glad you have a supportive mom and that you're taking steps! I'm over 50 and sometimes I feel bad that I could have worked on this earlier, but I'm doing it now.

Lots of support and hugs if you want them! You can do this.
Heather