So here's my basic question...

[HowDidIGetHere]

When you've got a borderline's habit of blowing up your life and then dumping it on someone else to fix, how do you actually ask for help in a sane way? Every time I think about my situation and think about trying to get help, I find myself trapped between the thought that "I'm asking for help because I need it" and that I'm actually just making another dramatic "cry for help" grab for attention.

I'm not really in a position to start any kind of serious therapy (though I would really love an opportunity to try DBT) and I also have a mood disorder that needs to be treated, but I'm afraid that I won't be able to get from here to there without driving myself (even more) crazy.

Anyone?

[oak]

Two questions, offered kindly:

1. When you mention "something to fix", can you name a specific issue to fix?

2. If you do bring this thing to be fixed to someone's attention, and they offer advice, are you willing to implement their advice*?



* Assuming it is moral and reasonable advice.

[Beany Boo]

It's actually fucking difficult to say out loud to another person, "Can you please help me?" There this overwhelming surge of the forces of vulnerability and manipulation flowing together, that follows. The freakiest thing is that if then you articulate something, that is a thing you can't do for yourself but can if this someone helps, and it's within their capacity to, they fucking will!

I loathe asking for help because I feel like someone is going to jump me while I'm saying the words. But I said it to someone recently; I said the sentence listed above and then I said the specific thing I needed their help with and they did it the next day. I was so overwhelmed by how effective it was I haven't used it again for fear of its power.