Tips for feeling?

[AtomicCowgirl]

My emotions have always been so huge and scary that as I've aged (I'm 50) I've gotten quite handy at just staying in my head. Just started seeing a new therapist, and she wants me to spend some time each week getting into my feelings and expressing them in a safe way. The thing is, I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to actually *do* that. Do I sit in a corner and think of bad things? Does anyone have any recommended exercises for processing/expressing feelings? Or am I just finding excuses not to do something I'm really uncomfortable with?

[Beany Boo]

Numb is a feeling

Growing urgency indicates a feeling

The urge towards avoidance heralds a feeling coming on

If you set aside 10 minutes in which you do nothing (none of the things you do habitually), I can almost guarantee you will have feelings; most likely uncomfortable ones; and you’ll spend those 10 minutes getting distracted by things you’ll want to do that take you out of that discomfort.

Feelings definitely have a physical expression. But if you’re used to suppressing feelings; or struggle to recognise what your feelings are, then physical or visible expression of them might be some way off; hence the need for practice.

If you’re like me, your feelings will be absent, confusing, convoluted, contradictory, intense, intolerable and humiliating. So, in the first instance, don’t be looking for ‘sadness’, ‘happiness’, ‘anger’; simple feelings with simple causal relationships to the situation you find yourself in. ‘Contempt’, ‘envy’, ‘rage’, ‘mortification’, ‘overwhelm’, ‘exhilaration’; all without visible expression and usually without connection to the situations that make up your daily life. These might be where you need to start; which is scary.

Again if you’re like me, at some point you learnt unconsciously to avoid or else, completely control arousal; arousal of any kind, because it was arousal that invariably attracted the kind of reactions from others that were traumatic, abusive or neglectful. Ironically, it’s arousal (sexual, emotional, volitional etc.) that will protect you as an adult and allow you to know yourself and show yourself to others. Unfortunately, avoidance and control of arousal, at some point becomes involuntary or unconscious; therapy is a good option in order to bring it back to being a voluntary matter of choice.

Emotions are not all intense. Some are, but others are gentle. Some are occur in spikes while others manifest as continuous refrains, or are only experienced as drawn out over a long period; or evolve, if given oxygen and time. If you are accustomed to only one type of emotional moment, then other kinds may present, the first time at least, as terrifying.

Go easy on yourself; give yourself lots of chances.

One last clue, often if you are feeling a toxic emotion unconsciously; the moment you begin to cope with the situation that has kept it going, you may feel the emotion intensely, but as it is leaving; being released and let go of. This can easily be confused with the approach of an overwhelming threat. It is difficult to tell the difference.

[AtomicCowgirl]

Thanks B. That helped. I'm still in avoidance. I need to find a time and space I can start practicing; work and life are not cooperating and of course I'm not trying very hard to *make* them cooperate.

[debbiekenny]

Why you sit in the corner and think of all bad things. Instead of thinking bad things you should starting thinking all the good things happened to you or around you, this is the best way you can get off of your emotions. You should always be happy and cheering all the time, life is too short to maintain records bad things happened. If you still cannot get out of this feeling can take guidance of voyance direct as they can give better advices for future with love and compassion. You should always surround yourself with happy people and always find happiness in everything.

[Noyoki]

I'm working on the same thing right now, this helps so much. Thank you!

[bigeekgirl]

Two things work for me: Meditation and journaling.

Find yourself a mindful meditation app or guided meditations on YouTube. I use Headspace and their 10 day basic program is free. Sit ten minutes a day and see what comes up. The practice will help you feel your feelings and also see them as not you and ever changing.

Journaling has helped me get to my feelings since I was a kid. These days, I use an app called Journey that syncs to my Google account so I can write on the computer or phone or whatever. It's not so much about writing about my day, but sometimes it starts out with "just the facts" and a few paragraphs in I start to type things I didn't know until they pour out of my finger tips. Sometimes I'll start writing about a problem I'm having or an issue from my past I need to process.

[lucymiller11]

Hi . How are you? I hope you're fine. There might be things that stressing you out but always remember to focus more on positivity. Engage more on fun activities, spend it with family, friends, and loved ones. I hope it helps.

Guys, you might want to visit but I'm not forcing anybody. So respect the post please. ( http://mindyourzen.com/)