Ether667- So sorry for spelling your Username incorrectly in my previous post!
Ether667- (and Others that are interested)-
According to the book mentioned in my previous post- These are Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviors that
May Indicate BPD:
(I'm only going to list the ones that might apply to situations Ether667 mentioned earlier)
*Have difficulty remembering the good things about a person they're casting in the role of the villain
*Alternate between seeing themselves as either worthless or flawless
*Believe that others are either completely right or totally wrong
*Alternate between idealizing people and devaluing them
*Believe that others are responsible for THEIR (the BPD person) actions-- or take too much responsibility for the actions of others
*Seem unwilling to admit to a mistake-- or feel that everything that THEY do is a mistake
*Base their beliefs on feelings rather than facts
*Not realize the effects of their behavior on others
*Have extreme moodiness that cycles very quickly- (in minutes or hours)
*Have difficulty managing their emotions
*Feel emotions so intensely that it's difficult to put others' needs-even those of their own children- ahead of their own
*Feel distrustful and suspicious a great deal of the time
*Feel ignored when they are not the focus of attention (sound at all familiar Ether?)
*Express anger inappropriately or have difficulty expressing anger at all
*Feel they can never get enough love, affection, or attention
*Have trouble observing others' personal limits
*Have trouble defining their own personal limits
*Act impulsively in ways that are potentially self-damaging, such as spending too much, engaging in dangerous sex (I get it, but does the wording sound cheesy to anyone else?
![Rolling Eyes :roll:](./images/smilies/icon/rolleyes.gif)
) fighting, gambling,abusing drugs or alcohol, reckless driving, shoplifting, or disordered eating
*Change their expectations in such a way that the other person feels they can never do anything right
*Needlessly create crises or live a chaotic lifestyle (Hello drama!)
*Act inconsistently or unpredictably
*Cut people out of their life over issues that seem trivial or overblown
*Alternately want to be close to others, then distance themselves (Examples include picking fights when things are going well, or alternately ending relationships and then trying to get back together) ==I always think of 'Janelle' from TEEN MOM on
this one especially, but many of the other traits as well==
*Act competent and controlled in some situations but extremely out of control in others
*Verbally abuse others, criticizing and blaming them to the point where it feels brutal
*Act verbally abusive toward people they know very well, while putting on a charming front for others (Can switch from one mode to the other in seconds)
*Act in what seems like extreme or controlling ways to get their own needs met
*Do or say something inappropriate to focus the attention on THEM when they feel ignored
*Accuse others of doing things they did not do/ having feelings they do not feel/ or believing things they do not believe
And that was just 'a few' (lol) examples/possibilities!
Everyone needs to keep in mind that BPDs usually think and act in extremes- black and white- so don't jump to conclusions about yourself or someone else being 'Borderline' simply because you recognize a couple commonalities with the info. listed above. Not all 'Borderlines' have all of these traits, and though it sounds pretty bad when it's all summed up- 'Borderlines' have a lot of great qualities
![Mr. Green :mrgreen:](./images/smilies/icon/mrgreen.gif)
Give us/them a chance.. please?
I appreciate the authors of "Stop Walking on Eggshells..." (Paul T. Mason, M.S. and Randi Kreger) for explaining it in terms that are easier to understand and recognize. (very helpful when you have distorted thinking
![Very Happy :D](./images/smilies/icon/biggrin.gif)
) The book also has information for those dealing with someone they know that has BPD, as well as insight/perspective from those diagnosed with BPD and non-BPDs.