Well just from reading this I can see why youre scared. I too had a Christian upbringing and was told that even masturbation (the most basic and human pleasures a person can experience) is shameful, dirty and wrong.
This cant be further from the truth.
You need to pleasure yourself before you try with anyone else or expect anyone else to be able to pleasure you.. Forget the toys...those come later (if you want), they can definitely be intimidating.
Im linking you to one of the best articles Ive read on the subject of discovering your sexuality.
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/body/ ... at_any_age
I am 25 years old...very much sexually active, but it really wasnt until this year that Ive TRULY been able to appreciate and respect my sexuality and ability to experience pleasure. And just as life is constantly in flux...so is your perception of yourself, so dont ever expect to have a concrete/finite idea of who you are and what turns you on, they will always be evolving as you grow.
Sex and sexuality is never shameful or dirty, especially when your focus is on your own pleasure. I know this is hard to understand when you have been brought up the way I think you have. Which is where the therapist can be helpful in deconstructing those beliefs and ideas that are so deeply embedded in your subconscious.
Therapists generally are a good source for non judgmental interactions.
I hope this helps.
Good luck and know you are not alone.
