Erotica: Owning my sexual voice.

[oak]

Hey all!

In 2005, at age 29, I discovered ways to make myself more noticeable to people I am attracted to. I am still working on this, making slow but sure progress. Yay me!

For the first 29 years of my life I was sexually invisible.

I've read in the last few years Nancy Friday (yay for her, and yay for fantasies!) and the wonderful annual series "Best American Erotica".

I want to explore my fantasies through writing erotica just for my own edification.

Immediately my mind reminded me of the old script of erotica/porn that I grew up with:

"Erotica is silly and tawdry. It's only use is as a joke, a dehumanizing joke"

I think this *after* reading all that amazing erotica!

So today I decided to post here for encouragement.

Here is my three part goal:

1. To write a simple, three paragraph erotica story, loosely based on a fantasy I've been considering.
2. To do so according to advice I get from googling "How to write erotica".
3. Post brief story on a erotica website/forum.

I hope to complete this by the end of the weekend (three days).

As important as my sexuality is to me, the more important issue is finding and using my voice.

I'd greatly appreciate any encouragement as I seek my voice

[Jose]

Cool! Great idea. I haven't read much erotica, guess I never found my 'niche,' but when I write it myself it's more exciting than any visualizing or looking at a picture could ever do. I'm always so ashamed about it and dispose of it after. I don't want anyone else to find it and re-reading it embarasses me. It feels kind of absurd to read your own erotica, it's like trying to make yourself laugh at a joke YOU made up. So that's a good goal of yours to write it and post it for the public to see, I think you'll get a lot out of it, and maybe it will give you the confidence to write about other things too. You actually inspired me to write some of my own, it will of course be thrown away, but thinking it up is the best part . Good on you for doing this! Do you have any tips for someone who wants to write this kind of fiction?

[oak]

Jose, thanks for your encouragement! Much respect.

Report:

So I accomplished #1 and it was alot of fun. Not arousing, but exciting.

I kept the story simple and brief. What it lacked in formality, it made up in freshness, and sincerity.

As far as #2:

Sad to say that when I googled "How to write erotica", the top five results I found pretty sucky.

The first two treated erotica as a silly, foolish joke. One even had the super-tired "pizza delivery guy" trope. I am sad that these people are so far behind the times. I am not stuck in 1989. Things are much sunnier in today.

As far as #3, the top ten or so results for "Submit your own erotica" of them none of them really fit my intention. But I did check out some of the other erotica written there. Also fun!

In summary

When I graduated from high school in 1994 I did not fit *any* of the categories of "celebrated men". John Wayne would've sneered at me. If the high school quarterback could have been bothered to notice me, he would have spit on me.

(Although, to their credit, I met alot of football stars years later who were super nice, kind, and encouraging. I think of the poor Al Bundys of the world, stuck in high school. I guess in a way I am still stuck in high school, since I relish how dumb they were to discount me! Fuck those losers!

Anyway, I've grown in erotic appeal, doing it my own fucking way. I was just thinking how reading feminist and LGBT (hooray for them!) writing in graduate school really helped my own weird identity bloom!

That erotica story I wrote was the bloom of that flowering. I claim it as beautiful.

It is me, being more fully me.

Thanks for reading. Forum love.

[Pigeon]

Yay for setting and completing goals! Even if they didn't go quite how you planned. I encourage you to keep writing and keep searching for places to submit your work! I would try looking at erotica you enjoy (try looking on amazon, they have have a lot of digital downloads which seem to be good for aspiring writers) and finding the names of publishers and anthologies that you like. They may have websites where you can submit your own work. I'm sure there are forums and online communities of erotica writers where you can post and get feedback and help from other writers.

As for how to write, I think the best thing is to read a TON. See what you like and don't like about the stories, what works for you and what doesn't, then follow the examples of the masters but do it in your own voice. Also, you can try searching for "writing prompts" to help you get the ball rolling so to speak.

Again, awesome start! Keep up the good work