Coming out as bisexual

To start a discussion post as a new topic.
Post Reply
User avatar
meh
Posts: 225
Joined: July 10th, 2012, 6:47 am
Gender: male
Issues: Bipolar, depression, general all around ick
preferred pronoun: That

Coming out as bisexual

Post by meh »

Anyone who's paid attention here knows I'm bisexual. It's a lot easier for me to be open about that in a situation like this - we're all being open and honest and we'll probably never meet in real life. So that creates a nice safe zone for us to open our guts to each other.

In my personal life on the other hand - my wife knows but it's never been anything we've actually discussed - if that makes any sense. Sometimes it comes up but more as a reference - we were playing some card game and she made a joke about me playing on both teams for example. I've never looked her in the eyes and said 'you do realize I really am bisexual....'

I turn 50 in 2014 and I've decided to deal with a lot of the things in my life that I've been ignoring. And the fact that I've never really come out to my wife is one of them.

I don't know when (I have a whole year I suppose) or under what circumstances. But I realize it's something I need to just do and get it over with.

Of course the decision to come out is easier than actually coming out. So any advice would be welcome.
"Of course you have an active inner life, you're bipolar"
my therapist.
User avatar
kitkat
Posts: 187
Joined: January 2nd, 2013, 10:06 am
Location: Canada

Re: Coming out as bisexual

Post by kitkat »

That's so fantastic that you are doing this! I wish I had some advice, but all I can say is that it sounds like your wife might already know, and hearing you say it would just be a confirmation that you are both able to be open with each other. Has she ever mentioned the topic with malice? If not, I'd say it's a safe bet that she is accepting of it. While my sexuality is not so easily defined, I did tell my now fiancé something about it which I was worried he didn't really understand, I had made myself sick with worry over it, and he was completely fine with it and it was the biggest relief and made me feel super safe and loved. Sending tons of good vibes your way! Let us know how it goes whenever you end up doing it. :)
User avatar
meh
Posts: 225
Joined: July 10th, 2012, 6:47 am
Gender: male
Issues: Bipolar, depression, general all around ick
preferred pronoun: That

Re: Coming out as bisexual

Post by meh »

Thanks kitkat - you're making my day today.

She's mentioned it but never with malice. It only comes up after we've had a few too many and very rarely. I don't think it's been mentioned in a couple of years.

It will be fine and good for me and for us. But getting there is tough. I tend to stay in my comfort zone more than is healthy.
"Of course you have an active inner life, you're bipolar"
my therapist.
User avatar
oak
Posts: 3551
Joined: January 18th, 2013, 8:44 am
Gender: Male

Re: Coming out as bisexual

Post by oak »

Hey congratulations, meh.

I am proud of you: coming out takes courage.

As a Kinsey zero, I can't offer any advice, but I admire. You're on your way.
Work is love made visible. -Kahlil Gibran
A person with a "why" can endure any "how". -Viktor Frankl
Which is better: to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort? -Skyrim
Raggedy Brandi
Posts: 18
Joined: December 28th, 2013, 7:26 pm

Re: Coming out as bisexual

Post by Raggedy Brandi »

Good luck! Good thoughts coming your way!
"Self coddling is not the same as self care. Self coddling is not productive, it's not effective, self care is."
The_Hero_of_Time
Posts: 9
Joined: May 10th, 2014, 3:06 pm

Re: Coming out as bisexual

Post by The_Hero_of_Time »

Good thoughts your way! :)
moonlightwatie
Posts: 65
Joined: April 14th, 2014, 7:53 pm
Gender: Cis female
Issues: loss of spouse, depression, breakups, adjusting meds
preferred pronoun: she
Location: California

Re: Coming out as bisexual

Post by moonlightwatie »

Good luck. :)
Moonlight Watie
"To be great is to be misunderstood."--Ralph Waldo Emerson
User avatar
bigeekgirl
Posts: 402
Joined: December 9th, 2012, 9:17 pm
Gender: female
Issues: depression/anxiety. co-dependence, disordered eating/using food to cope
preferred pronoun: she
Location: South Carolina

Re: Coming out as bisexual

Post by bigeekgirl »

I'm glad you've decided to tell her. It sounds like she knows and doesn't care, but the honest intimacy of being open will be something special.
Post Reply

Return to “Sexuality”