YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Anyone who's paid attention here knows I'm bisexual. It's a lot easier for me to be open about that in a situation like this - we're all being open and honest and we'll probably never meet in real life. So that creates a nice safe zone for us to open our guts to each other.

In my personal life on the other hand - my wife knows but it's never been anything we've actually discussed - if that makes any sense. Sometimes it comes up but more as a reference - we were playing some card game and she made a joke about me playing on both teams for example. I've never looked her in the eyes and said 'you do realize I really am bisexual....'

I turn 50 in 2014 and I've decided to deal with a lot of the things in my life that I've been ignoring. And the fact that I've never really come out to my wife is one of them.

I don't know when (I have a whole year I suppose) or under what circumstances. But I realize it's something I need to just do and get it over with.

Of course the decision to come out is easier than actually coming out. So any advice would be welcome.

That's so fantastic that you are doing this! I wish I had some advice, but all I can say is that it sounds like your wife might already know, and hearing you say it would just be a confirmation that you are both able to be open with each other. Has she ever mentioned the topic with malice? If not, I'd say it's a safe bet that she is accepting of it. While my sexuality is not so easily defined, I did tell my now fiancé something about it which I was worried he didn't really understand, I had made myself sick with worry over it, and he was completely fine with it and it was the biggest relief and made me feel super safe and loved. Sending tons of good vibes your way! Let us know how it goes whenever you end up doing it.

Thanks kitkat - you're making my day today.

She's mentioned it but never with malice. It only comes up after we've had a few too many and very rarely. I don't think it's been mentioned in a couple of years.

It will be fine and good for me and for us. But getting there is tough. I tend to stay in my comfort zone more than is healthy.

Hey congratulations, meh.

I am proud of you: coming out takes courage.

As a Kinsey zero, I can't offer any advice, but I admire. You're on your way.

Good luck! Good thoughts coming your way!

Good thoughts your way!

Good luck.

I'm glad you've decided to tell her. It sounds like she knows and doesn't care, but the honest intimacy of being open will be something special.