I don't remember

[Raggedy Brandi]

I don't remember what happened, but I sense something did. I have been in therapy off and on for years. Also studied on my own, to get help. My behaviors and actions in my life make me think that something happened that I don't remember. I don't have a memory of my daily life before 3rd grade when I moved in with my grandparents. I was 9. I have a memories of few events, but that is all. I was exposed to sex at an early age. My parents were alcoholics and swingers. I remember looking at all sorts of magazines (not the tame ones) in like 1st and 2nd grade, maybe younger. I walked in on my parents occasionally, and when I was visiting, when I was older, they were never quiet, or shy. I say my parents, at the time I thought they were. When I was 11, I was told the truth that the guy was actually my step dad, that he and my mother married when I was 3. That my real dad was dead. That's another story though. I will probably share it sometime. The things above are not the "behaviors and actions" that I referred to. Just a few observations that I have made that may be linked to my sexuality. I wonder if I will ever remember, do people with repressed memories know they are repressing?