Divorce

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oak
Posts: 3551
Joined: January 18th, 2013, 8:44 am
Gender: Male

Re: Divorce

Post by oak »

If you are willing to hear some tough love, OP, I can offer a red pill of likely truths. If you are willing.
Work is love made visible. -Kahlil Gibran
A person with a "why" can endure any "how". -Viktor Frankl
Which is better: to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort? -Skyrim
Baseball10
Posts: 17
Joined: January 22nd, 2013, 1:25 pm
Location: St.louis Missouri

Re: Divorce

Post by Baseball10 »

I don't talk any of my friends. Who wants to hang around a bummer? I haven't dealt very well with all of this. I find myself pulling further and further away. I can't speak or see her. If I do I breakdown. I have nightmares from my PTSD. I keep falling thru the floor but this time I can't find my way out. I have nightmares where she is in the arms of another man. I wake up in tears. People say hey just go out and get laid. I can't do that. I went on a date a few months ago. I had to leave within 20 min. I just about broke down so I had to leave. Depression/PTSD does not go away. This is something that will be with me for the rest of my life. I have to find away to cope with this. I'll never hold her hand or touch her ever again. Heartbroken
weary
Posts: 396
Joined: July 10th, 2012, 2:53 pm

Re: Divorce

Post by weary »

You deserve happiness, man. I hope that you are working with someone on the PTSD, because that is something that can get better if you find the right therapist and you work at it. I can understand feeling like you're deep in a hole and nobody would want to be your friend/hang out with you, or no other woman would ever want you or make you feel happy. Do your best to challenge those assumptions and test them. I'm glad that you were out on a date, and I'm sorry that it triggered things for you, but it is evidence that there was someone who wanted to spend time with you. I hope that you don't let the way that your wife hurt you prevent you from making connections with other people, because that can help pull you out of this misery. Best wishes.
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oak
Posts: 3551
Joined: January 18th, 2013, 8:44 am
Gender: Male

Re: Divorce

Post by oak »

Perhaps there are a couple things going on, related.

One is hurt from a divorce.

Another could be the ups and downs of dating.

Another could be PTSD.

While they are probably related and intertwined, perhaps PTSD and despression would be a good place to start seeking some healing.

The dating world is ruthless, man. If that is okay or good or bad, I can't say. We didn't invent this game of love, but we have to play by the rules handed to us.

Perhaps as you find some healing regarding your PTSD, dating will come more naturally, and you will find some healing regarding your divorce.

Since I am not a counselor, I can't offer any suggestions about PTSD, but as a dude who dates alot, I can offer you advice and encouragement when you are ready to date again. Feel free to pm me when you are ready to meet new people.

Hang in there.
Work is love made visible. -Kahlil Gibran
A person with a "why" can endure any "how". -Viktor Frankl
Which is better: to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort? -Skyrim
Baseball10
Posts: 17
Joined: January 22nd, 2013, 1:25 pm
Location: St.louis Missouri

Re: Divorce

Post by Baseball10 »

Get busy living or busy dying . I think it's time to start living
weary
Posts: 396
Joined: July 10th, 2012, 2:53 pm

Re: Divorce

Post by weary »

I hear that. I'm struggling to to do the same thing myself. Glad to hear you moving in a positive direction.
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oak
Posts: 3551
Joined: January 18th, 2013, 8:44 am
Gender: Male

Re: Divorce

Post by oak »

Get busy living or busy dying . I think it's time to start living


Heyyy! I am super glad to see you type that, baseball!

Sometimes wanting to want something is a big step. But your actions are independent of your worth as a person: whether you take a step forward, backward, to the side, or just stand still, you have a dignity that is outside of what you do.

Still, I am happy to see you ready for willingness.
Work is love made visible. -Kahlil Gibran
A person with a "why" can endure any "how". -Viktor Frankl
Which is better: to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort? -Skyrim
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