Does depression affect our cognitive abilities?

[chicagocowboy]

Howdy,

I have been a long time listener but this is the first time that I have been to the forum. First, I apologize if my questions have already been posted and I would gladly accept any recommendations for particular forums or podcast episodes to search if you know that my issues have been discussed before.

I have suffered from major depression for a little more than a decade now and I have been on, and continue to be on, medication and am in therapy. However, for the last 1.5 years I have begun to experience symptoms that I have never felt before and I am not sure that they are even linked to depression.

I consider myself well educated and at one point was an average orator and well versed in sarcasm. But now it takes an extreme amount of effort to remember which words to use and to actually form those words with my lips. I have literally lost my basic knowledge of the English language. It is hard for me to explain what I did during the day much less comprehend what someone else's day is like. It's like a cloud is smothering my brain and I can not accurately process what people are saying to me. I have always been able to express myself through writing vs vocalization but now I literally am losing my ability to vocalize my thoughts.

I had a neurological exam and the doctors said that I had low lying depression and that it was causing these symptoms of mine. I had passed their tests and they couldn't fully understand what I was experiencing.

Has anyone else felt that their cognitive abilities were being stunted in this way?

[Imissmysun]

First of all welcome!!!

Secondly, yes yes and yes - depression can certainly affect your cognitive abilities adversely - while you can be a functional depressive which I have been a recently diagnosed person of such and also have seen that this has been my pattern for nearly 30 years - (I had a lot of cruddy stuff happen to me as a kid) - anyway - I get foggy - I forget easy normal things - I feel I am generally an intelligent person and will sit there thinking of the word I want to use in the middle of a sentence that I have stated probably hundreds of times before - I will forget what tasks I wanted to get done or just not have the mental energy to do them - but that depression takes up space and it is taxing - it turns everything grey and saps away mental energy - it is a sick sick disease like a serial killer of your happiness and it will slowly eat away at everything you care about or value about yourself - it takes a ton of hard work to push back

It sounds like you are doing the hard work but I would mention this pattern with the dr that prescribes your meds - they may be able to adjust dosages or partner the medication with another med that can help the fogginess - it may also be a side effect of the medicine itself - ask - its not stupid and it is definitely not uncommon -

I say I have depression brain - it sucks and it makes you feel like a fraud - you think you are smart and then your brain fails you when you want to show off that thing that you feel you can do.

I wish you luck and there are a lot of really smart people here that more than likely have better suggestions than I do but I wanted to let you know you were not alone

[chicagocowboy]

Hey,

Thank you for responding. Honestly I was hoping someone would say no and that it would be due to some rare genetic brain disorder. I really am at a loss with this new turn in my fight with depression. I am currently trying to get a new job in a field where my ability to vocalize my thoughts is of the utmost essence. I fear that I am going to lose all of my current jobs due to this brain fog. It has limited my desire to hold conversations and I can feel it pushing a wedge between my girlfriend and myself.

Ugh. It does help to know that I am not alone. But it also scares me because I wonder why it is happening now and if I can in fact fight it. My doctor is increasing my dose and perhaps it just means that I should change medications. Either way all I want to do is sleep.

Sorry, I just needed to ramble

Again, thanks for writing. It is helpful to know that I am not alone. Oh, and I so relate to your signature. Well said.

[Imissmysun]

I am in the same relationship boat my lack of ability to concentrate. But dont give up you have the abilty to fight this make lists do cross words and talk to your therapist they will have insight

Write letters to your girlfriend about how you are feeling when you have moments of clarity and just keep as many lines of communication open as you can.

And yes it sucks but its not insurmountable its just harder.

Thanks for the comraderie over my signature.

I wish sometimes i had a terminal disease first of all it would have a definite reason for scewing with me and secondly i wouldnt be invisible anymore i would be seen for once.

[SallieMaesBitch]

I totally agree with that comment about wishing for a terminal disease, I feel so bad for wanting that, and sometimes have even thought about faking cancer or something so that when my depression was destroying me people would actually get it. Won't do that out of respect for people with cancer though and because I've read The Boy Who Cried Wolf.

But in response to the original comment, I've heard from other people and experienced cognition troubles myself. I never had an IQ test before my depression really got bad, but I know I've lost quite a bit. I used to be able to answer a good deal of Jeopardy questions and now I can barely get any. My memory is horrendous, it's never been great, but it's embarrassing now. I don't feel like myself. I feel like I'm going crazy and wish I'd either get better or get so bad I no longer care.

[chicagocowboy]

For as long as I can remember I have longed for a terminal illness. I struggled with suicidal ideation for years and I am sure that this longing stemmed from that. I never actually thought that I was meant to live past the age of 30. Here I am, at the age of 31, and I still don't know where my life is going or why I am here but I am ok with sticking around.

I somehow found a neuropsychiatrist and she said that the brain fog was due to the medication reacting poorly with my hormones. So now I am being weaned off my medication and am slowly switching to a new regiment. Finding out that these symptoms could be due to the medicine gave me some sense of hope. My fogginess is better but I worry it's because of a placebo effect.

I have not read that book so I will write it down on my list of books to read. How long have you been dealing with these cognition troubles?

Hey, Imissmysun, you are not invisible. I know that may not mean much since it's taken me months to respond to this feed. I think I am in denial of the fact that I am slowly wading back in to the pool of depression. Anyhow, I just wanted to say hi.