Always something in the way

[neufena]

I've had my suicide plan sorted for a few months now but there always seems to be something getting in the way. Can't do it at Christmas, not enough time for the band to replace me before the next gig, a project at work has a deadline and I can't drop my colleagues in it. I need to find a way to stop taking on responsibilities so I can finally rid the world of me. I can't leave loose ends, that's a sure fire way to never rest in whatever afterlife there is!

[brownblob]

I'm sorry you feel that way.

[manuel_moe_g]

I can crystalize my agency when I think of my daughter, and not when I think of myself. In a tiny way, I can understand what you are saying, Neufena.

Please, don't.

Your friend,

Moe

[neufena]

Thanks. Last night was a huge change in my life. I left my wife. I can't go on like this and after much thought decided that, although much harder, was the right option and not to leave the world. I'm now being emotionally and financially blackmailed and being told I'll never see my daughter again. But I'm alive. Is that a victory? It doesn't feel that way.

[manuel_moe_g]

sending you best wishes, Neufena

obviously, you deserve better than this

[neufena]

Thanks,

After the raw emotions have all died down threats have been withdrawn and apologies made. It's still a shit situation but feels much less bad than last night. Glad this community were her for me to vent.

[rivergirl]

I'm sorry you're going through so much pain and turmoil, neufena. Any time you need to vent here, please do. For what it's worth, I care.

rivergirl

[neufena]

Thanks. I may start a new thread in the correct section for this.