Low point

[rivergirl]

This morning I'm terrified with anxiety but also feeling suicidal. I don't want to be this way any more. I've been fighting depression and anxiety for three years but I must be making the wrong decisions because I'm still back in this place too often. I don't see a way out.

[oak]

You did the right thing posting here. Thank you.

I encourage you, with all the kindness and friendliness I can muster, to call 211. Please do so right away. Tell them what you told us.

[brownblob]

You have not made any wrong decisions. Depression and anxiety are hard to fight. I know how bad it can be. If you are still suicidal please call a hotline or 211. Please be safe.

[rivergirl]

Thank you Oak and Brownblob. I feel like a broken record saying this, but being able to express how I'm feeling to people who understand and don't judge me means so much to me.

I told my brother what I was experiencing and I know that if I asked he or his wife would take me to ER.

I know intellectually that I shouldn't feel shame about having suicidal thoughts, but it seems so foreign to who I once thought I was.

[common-bluebell]

Hi rivergirl. Did you ever call 211? I am experiencing similar symptoms like you, but I am always afraid to say anything for fear I will get put in the hospital. What do they do on 211? How are you feeling now? It is such a struggle feeling like nothing you do helps the depression and anxiety. I hope you are in a good place.

Thanks

[rivergirl]

Hi common-bluebell,

I've never actually called 211, but I have called a suicide hotline a couple of times. It didn't result in my being hospitalized. If you ever feel really suicidal, please don't hesitate to call them. They'll talk with you and assess your risk.

Another option that I've used is to call something called a "warmline" to talk when I wasn't feeling suicidal but just needed someone to talk to. The one in my area is run by the local NAMI group. Here's a link that gives phone numbers for warmlines in many different areas: http://warmline.org/ Some of the warmlines will take callers from out of their areas as well.

There's also the crisis text line: https://www.crisistextline.org/

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling so much, but I'm glad you posted and hope you'll continue to reach out here on the forum any time. I like your name and your photo, by the way. Don't give up hope, bluebell.

rivergirl

[common-bluebell]

Rivergirl,

I can’t tell you how good it felt to get that response. I will definitely make use of those resources. Please message me anytime. Not sure if you can personally message people here or not.

Thanks,

[rivergirl]

Hey common-bluebell,

I'm glad if my post helped a bit. Feel free to message me any time too. You can send private messages to forum users in the user control panel.

I hope you're having a better day today.

rivergirl