YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hello, Universe!

My name is Emily and Ive never posted here before. First off, I want to say how much I appreciate a community like this. Its honestly beautiful, and humbling to see such huge amount of people coming together, giving advice, sharing stories, and offering support. I have struggled with depression for more of my life than I haven't, and a significant amount of it with various forms of anxiety as well. Well more than ready to move on, I have decided to do what it takes to just get out of this funk. I am a 26 year female with a full time teaching job. My dream is to travel the world.

I have seen multiple therapists since I was about 17. I quit for a couple years, too self absorbed to think there was a chance at getting over depression and anxiety. Now, I am seeing someone who is actually bringing me some nice relief, and I also am having some faith that this is manageable. I'm sure it will not come as a shock to many of you on here that my therapist has recommended the idea of an SSRI to accompany this therapy.

There are two things I want to point out here:
1) She is not being pushy about it. Its something that has come up in sessions and the decision has been left entirely up to me.
2) I have taken them before. It was many years ago though. I don't really remember what the effects were. (Early college, lots of partying). I also cant exactly pinpoint why I decided to stop. I think both the taking them and stopping them were more melodramatic, (see self-absorbed, above) moves than actually understanding the point of using them for my well being.


Since the last time I took an anti- depressant, other therapists have brought it up again. These were during some dark years. I had a hard time even showing up to therapy because I didn't want to just accept that I had some possible mental issues! And of course, taking medicine then was out of the question if I couldn't even admit I had a problem.

Now at this stage, while its been hard to come forward with all of my baggage, I really am much more ready to embrace the reality and just move on. I want to take the recommendation of an SSRI seriously. So here's where I need help.

I did a little googling but I easily get overwhelmed with website information. I would like to get some real, honest reviews from people who have taken any SSRI. My main points of curiosity, if its not apparent, are:

Which SSRI did you take?
How has it helped you?
If it didnt help, did you find yourself worse off?
Can you tell me about any negative side effects you experienced? (The ones I am most concerned about are weight gain and decreased libido)
Did you have withdrawal, or any negative side effects, if you took them and then got off?

There is more I want to know, but I do not want to overwhelm this community. To anyone who answers my questions, I just want to send an advanced thank-you. You have no idea how much it means to me to any get any answers back. I hope I have been as clear as possible and again, I really appreciate it. If there is anything I can do as well to make myself more understandable, please let me know.

Best,

Emily

Hello 7beadsinarow, welcome to our little forum!

Forum tips: You can keep up with all activity on the forum by clicking “View active topics” under the main Board index. And when you post, you can subscribe to the replies by clicking on “Subscribe topic” at the bottom of the page – this also allows you to subscribe to new replies of any topic that interests you.

Which SSRI did you take? -- Prozac

How has it helped you? -- It had a big positive effect on my mood. After a few years, it stopped working so I moved to other classes of anti-depressants.

If it didnt help, did you find yourself worse off? -- Even though it stopped working for me, I would say it was a worthwhile experience and helped me a lot - it gave me the strength and hope to start therapy.

Can you tell me about any negative side effects you experienced? -- Difficulty ejaculating. Sexually, everything else has been just fine.

Thanks for the information!!

I have very brief experience with Citalopram and Sertraline.

The first antidepressents I've ever taken were Citalopram and Alprazolam. I was prescribed one 20mg tablet in the morning along with a some alprazolam as well. I say this because my experience was probably of the combination rather than just the SSRI, however I've since taken alprazolam and I did not get any side effects from it.

Citalopram had basically no noticeable positive effect on me. I only took 16 tablets in total, one every day, and most psychiatrists would probably say you'd have to take it longer to really give it a fair shot. There were two side effects, one was yawning, which is pretty common to a lot of anti depressants, and the other was sexual in nature. Almost immediately I noticed that it was having an effect on my ability to masturbate to orgasm. It basically got worse and worse every day to the point that I would spend as much as two or three hours trying to come before I could. Half the time I just gave up. This was incredibly scary for me. I goggled it and sure enough it was a side effect that is documented. What really freaked me out, and what made me stop taking it, was that there were reports of people coming off the drug and still having a problem getting an orgasm. I wasn't going to take that chance. I'm a virgin, but I still expect to have sex at some point, if you told me I couldn't, then I'd kill myself for sure. Now, I have no idea how common it is for these symptoms to remain once you stop taking the drug, it's probably pretty rare but I wasn't willing to risk it. Thankfully they went away for me soon after I stopped.

I stopped both Citalopram and Alprazolam cold turkey and the first night I could sleep. I can't remember exactly how I felt but I'm pretty sure I was going through withdrawal. It wasn't that bad, but not really something to recommend. I think I had a cold sweat and I think my head felt funny... If i had to go through it again though I could do it no problem, it was mild. I don't know which one caused the withdrawal though. It could have been either one or both. I stopped taking Sertaline cold turkey later on, (another SSRI) and didn't feel withdrawal, and I stopped taking Alprazolam later on as well without feeling withdrawal but that was more gradual.

Sertaline I took some months later. I found a new psychiatrist and I forgot to tell her my reaction to Citalopram before she prescribed me Sertaline and so, like clockwork, when I started taking it the side effects came back. I only took eight of these (one a day) before stopping. The positive effect of this one was subtle, but I think it did make me a little 'better.' While on it I felt like I could talk about my feelings without crying, for example, which was an issue I was having. I was also on Mirtazapine at the time but I had been taking that for months with little to no effect so I'm pretty sure the positive effect came from the SSRI.

If you want me to be more specific about how they affected me sexually I can be. I don't want to over-share.

...Oh and both of my psychiatrists were surprised at how quickly it gave me those sexual side effects. The psychiatrist I'm with now was expecting it to take a couple weeks, maybe more, for me to feel anything and I felt it virtually instantaneously. I'm talking about like less than 24 hours. I guess this is atypical but I guess it's worth mentioning.

Hi there,

Which SSRI did you take? Paxil (Paroxetine) for almost 15 years
How has it helped you? It was prescribed for me by a physicians assistant when I was going through a major life event (divorce) and was severely depressed & anxious, unable to eat, sleep, work, etc. It helped stabilize me at least in the short term. It also turned out to be the first preventative medication that ever worked in reducing the frequency and severity of the migraine headaches I'd had since my early 20's. I've experienced some periods of pretty severe depression since being on the medication, and have now been on it for so long that I'm not sure that it has helped me (other than the migraines) in the long term.
If it didnt help, did you find yourself worse off? Not worse off, but with some side effects.
Can you tell me about any negative side effects you experienced? (The ones I am most concerned about are weight gain and decreased libido)
Did you have withdrawal, or any negative side effects, if you took them and then got off? The only side effect (which has actually had a pretty major negative effect on my life) was a major weight gain. I'm not 100% sure it was the medication, but it seems likely since before taking it my emotional eating issues involved restricting calories and losing weight, never gaining weight. My weight gain on Paxil was also very fast. I have been unable to get off the medication in 15 years because even with slow weaning I start getting a lot of dizziness and return of migraines within a couple of weeks of reducing the dose. Now that I'm past menopause and am not getting migraines on a regular basis at all, I'm planning another attempt at weaning off Paxil soon. The other side effect that occurred once that was really serious was that I once ran out of medication over a long holiday weekend, and within just a few days I was extremely depressed and making suicidal plans and was forced by my psychiatrist to be hospitalized for depression.

My main caution about Paxil would be to see if there is another SSRI that might be easier to withdraw from if you find it doesn't work for you or causes side effects like weight gain. I hope you find what works best for you with the least side effects!

rivergirl

Which SSRI did you take? started zoloft(sertraline sp) in 2004, added wellbutrin in 2013, phased out zoloft

How has it helped you?
both have helped tremendously, I'd always been depressive in mood and thinking (though people think I'm a happy person), with episodes of deep paralyzing depression every few years usually brought on buy life events. Zoloft brought me out of a very deep depression, up to that point I'd just tried to ride the episodes out but it would often take months-up to a year. Had a few side effects that eventually faded. for a few years, still had episodes of depression but nowhere near as deep as they had been, but after awhile they got worse again. I started getting divorce in 2013 and just fell off a cliff, we tried to up the dosage but it did not help. Started wellbutrin along with zoloft and started feeling much better in about 2 weeks, not to many side effects and all have faded. The drugs really helped my therapy sessions, I was able to slow down the emotional spirals and learned better how to cope with stressful situations and sometimes avoid them or reframe them.

If it didnt help, did you find yourself worse off?
No not worse off, it was a major shift in thinking, that i just didn't have to suffer for the rest of my life, there were things i could try and steps i could take.

Can you tell me about any negative side effects you experienced? (The ones I am most concerned about are weight gain and decreased libido)
Actually lost weight because I had the energy and focus to exercise which also helped with my depression, I now exercise about an hour a day, I never had the energy or drive before. Libido is a little harder, i was so depressed when I started my libido was near zero, I'm a male, so one benefit has been that zoloft delays orgasm. For me the benefits offset the downsides, most of the side effects faded with time for me, but I've spoken to people who have had to try several drugs to find one that works. It is an art to figure out what works, and you may have to switch drugs over time.

I have one relative who has been using psychotropic drugs long term and he has developed tardive dyskenesia (sp) which is mild involuntary muscle movements, that is the worst side effect I've seen.


Did you have withdrawal, or any negative side effects, if you took them and then got off?
I made the mistake of wanting to stop taking the drugs several years ago, if you taper the side effects are not too bad in my experience. Mostly mild headaches, but also what some people call "shocks" or "zaps", I would get a tingle in my head and kind of felt like electricity going through your body. Those faded. But within a few months of going off, I hit bottom on another depression episode, and quickly learned that even though I thought the drugs might not be working at the time, there were really a safety net set by the medication.


I basically think I'll need to be on some kind of medication for the rest of my life.

Hello! I have more anxiety than depression but I did take an SSRI for a brief time.

Which SSRI did you take?
Sertraline (Zoloft) 25mg first then 50mg

How has it helped you?
No! I took it for a two weeks and felt so foggy. I was able to get to work but I felt like I was moving through a sea of molasses, as soon as I got home I would sleep. I slept almost all weekend. My pupils got weird and dilated and I felt pretty numb but not in my usual disassociating after anxiety way just in a "I feel like a giant sleepy bunny" way.
Then by the third week my Dr increased my dose and I felt a bit more normal, I wasn't as tired, but started developing a rash on my neck and chest. My Dr figured I was allergic, I didn't change my diet, laundry soap, anything else so he took me off it.

If it didn't help, did you find yourself worse off?
I tried Welbutrin after but that didn't make me feel right either. I was sweaty and even more anxious and kind of shaky. After that I stopped going to my psychiatrist but I recently made another appointment since I started drinking more to cope. I'm hoping to find something else to help but I really got discouraged after the first two tries. The Zoloft for me was like taking too much cough medicine, I kind of liked the way it numbed me out but I felt like I was going to work high which didn't feel like the healthy "normal" state I was hoping for.

Can you tell me about any negative side effects you experienced? (The ones I am most concerned about are weight gain and decreased libido)
Not sure if I took them quite long enough to get any real side effects (aside from the rash!) I did try and masturbate when I was on them and had a difficult time but "got the job done" in the end - my sex life has been pretty dry overall so I really didn't notice a difference.

Did you have withdrawal, or any negative side effects, if you took them and then got off?
No withdrawal symptoms for me, don't think I was on them for long enough. But the fact they didn't work gave me a nice dose of hopelessness after.

Which SSRI did you take?
Sertraline (Zoloft) 25mg f

How has it helped you?
It didn't I was on it for about 2 weeks in college.

If it didn't help, did you find yourself worse off?

Yes, I never slept, I cried all the time, I felt angry at everyone and like I was on pins and needles.


Now I take 10mg of Celexa every morning. At first it made me feel tired and I had some heartburn but to be honest I think I was coming down with a stomach bug at the same time. I had 3 days of euphoria. Nothing got to me, I was happy 24/7 and felt like I was floating on clouds, my pupils were huge and I felt stoned and buzzed at the same time...and like I just had a massage and was eating my favorite food and having sex with the person of my dreams and I won a million dollars.. and after 3 days I woke up feeling fine! No more eurphoria but feeling good and it has helped with my stress, obsessive thinking etc. I still have a ways to go but it's good.

I'm currently taking Lexapro, which I've been on for 2 months. I'm on 7.5mg right now but I will probably increase that next week when I see my psychiatrist. Lexapro has helped significantly with my anxiety, but has not had any effect on my depression. Last week I cut my dose of xanax in half, which previously was the only thing that helped my anxiety.

The side effects are that for the first 3-4 days after starting or increasing the dose I have almost no libido. Then for the next 5-7 days I have super ridiculous nonstop boner porn star libido. Then it goes back to normal.

I have also taken Zoloft. I took it for 5 weeks and it had no positive effects at all on either anxiety or depression. It made me very jittery, especially at night, and I had difficulty orgasming.

Hi!

I have taken Zoloft for several years now (maybe 4? not sure) and it works well for me. The only thing I don't like is, if I miss a dose, I get this weird head rushing thing. It's hard to describe. I am prescribed 150 mg but I mostly take 100 unless I go through a rough period. I take it at night - reason being, I take medication in morning that it might interact with and not work as well. I also take bus-par which I'm not sure is the same but that I take in the morning and at night. It helps me stay alert and stabalizes my mood. I like that and have had few side effects. I don't take a high dose.

Wellbutrin was awful! I didn't eat, I didn't sleep, I was bouncing off the walls. That didn't even last a month for me. Not a good drug for my case. But others say it works very well.

Now I also take seraquil which is not the same class BUT I take it because at night is when my depressing and anxious thoughts come out. I would lie awake in bed and think of everything awful in my life. You know, nothing good is ever keeping you awake at 3 am. So I don't take the extended release, I take the regular one and it calms my thoughts. I fall asleep and wake feeling fine. Some people say they feel sleepy from it but I don't. It does cause weight gain but my internest also agrees that me a little heavier and not depressed is preferable! I know this one is not for depression but it works in my case. I am not bi-polar and have been diagnosed with MDD and anxiety. I feel well managed now with therapy and medication. My life has been changed! Hope this helps you. I'm not sure it's what you wanted but it's my experience.