YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

I'm a compulsive eater, I know this now. I eat when I'm bored, holy hell do I eat. I don't want to eat but there's a force in me that makes me do it anyways. I'll look in the fridge and see a yogurt (one of my "trigger foods") and know I don't want to eat it but I "just have to" even though it will do me no good. I eat and eat and eat and I can't stop, I think. I'm rarely ever actually hungry, my ADHD meds make sure of that, but my 20 mg of Abilify make me mentally ravenous for everything and anything. I just talked to my doctor and convinced him to lower it to 15 mg so MAYBE it'll help me not be such a fat fucking pig. I need to lose weight, I really need to lose weight. The worst part of all of this is that I know better, I know nutrition, I studied it in college. I know how these foods fuck me up and I know exactly how I could do better but I don't because I have zero fucking restraint. I'm trying to set boundaries for myself but I need to be more concrete with my rules and goals but it just doesn't fucking happen. I can't go on like this, I can't be heavy anymore, it isn't fucking fair. Help.

I can definitely relate. I have been struggling with compulsive eating for the last year or so (with a host of other eating disorders). Mine is definitely triggered by my anxiety/depression. I feel like every time I set a boundary or a restraint, I go more crazy with the eating and get worse. I've been told I need to treat food like medication in that I need to create an eating schedule and stick to it to get my body back to a normal place. I graduated with a degree in nutrition and still find myself binging on some of worst foods that, 6 years ago, when I graduated, I would never have thought to put in my body. Hang in there. Compulsive eating is every bit as mentally/emotionally taxing as any other disorder problem, just more socially acceptable. Good luck and keep posting!

-B