YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Growing up, there were lots of kids on my block. My best friends were 2 girls across the street, and we hung out all the time. In middle school, I was bullied. At the end of the year, my mom took me out of that school and switched me to the Catholic school in town. Soon after the new school year started, these girls started prank calling my house every day. Then, they had a friend of theirs call me and tell me that they didn't want to be friends with me anymore, completely out of the blue. Crushing moment in my life.

A few years ago, one of the girls tried to add me on Facebook. I immediately rejected it, and a few days later she added me again. I again rejected it. Last night, she tried to friend me again. I saw we had a mutual friend, and it's apparently my younger developmentally disabled brother, so maybe that's what spurred her to try again.

This made me absolutely furious (her, not my brother). Where the fuck does she get off thinking friendly thoughts about me at all? Does she really have no idea what she did to me and how much it impacted my life? And (apparently) how much it still affects this me to this day? I told my husband, but I don't think he gets how upset this made me. I almost wanted to friend her, tell her to go fuck herself, and then unfriend her.

GAH! I'm just so mad, and then I feel stupid because I think it's a dumb thing to be mad about.

What happens in our formative years leaves a lasting impression.

I don't know if I'd want to accept an apology from an bully. I carried the trauma with me for years, so I guess they can carry the guilt, if they even remember. I've somewhat gotten beyond it, but I feel no need to confront or absolve them. My primary concern would be to not give them opportunity to hurt me again and not attempt to get an apology, because getting denied that would rip up old wounds.

There's no reason to think that she even wants to give me an apology. It never even occurred to me that that would be what she wanted, but someone on a facebook group I'm a part of mentioned it as well.

They also mentioned blocking her to prevent further friend requests, which I did. When I clicked the button, Facebook popped up with a confirmation, and it also said, "We're sorry you've had this experience." Well thanks, Facebook. Me too.

I just want to tell you that at least for me personally my Facebook page is just for people I choose to be in my life. I don't feel a sense of obligation to add shitty people to view my life especially if they treated me badly in school. You have no guilt to feel and I absolutely agree with your idea to block that person.
If they wanted to apologize to you, they have the ability to include a message with their friend request. They can message you privately as well. This person sounds to me like they may have viewed your interactions far differently then you did. And unless you feel like tackling that demon now, let it go.