YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

I suppose I'm grateful that its been so long since I've fallen into such a deep depression. However I let myself hope that I would never feel this way again, yet here I am. I'm still functioning reasonably well. I can go to work, put on a pretty normal face, and be reasonably clean but things are starting to slip. My surroundings are in disarray, its hard to bathe, I'm continuously tired, and I'm regularly over eating. There are all sorts of parties and such happening this weekend but I don't think I'll be able to pull myself together enough to attend any of them. I want to type more now, but I think I'm too tired. Maybe later, or tomorrow.

15 days. I went 15 days between showers at the start of the month. I don't think I smelled bad, if I had I believe my own self-disgust would've forced me to shower & shave. I wasn't around people much for those days, my hair was very messy & my face scruffy. I seemed to lack whatever thing motivates people to take care of themselves with cleanliness & love. I don't want to get too dark, but this does feel like the most painful & confusing stretch of life that I've yet endured.
I hope something gives for you & you feel better, you are not alone.

I've found baths to be most helpful when I'm lacking in energy, spray a little scrubbing bubbles, rinse that shit down so I'm not swimming in dog fur and soap scum and just lay there for a while. Even though it's still in your own sweat soup it at least brings a little feeling back, at least for me, with the hot water.

Sorry to hear you're in the depths of it. I hope you can find some comfort in being good to yourself, you're worth the effort even if it's hard to see that right now.