One of those days, weeks, months, years....

[Cami]

It's not good, okay?

New schedule at work has messed a bit with me, and spring isn't really kicking in...

My therapist couldn't squeeze me into her schedule in all of May. I don't feel like I'm being taken seriously, she doesn't really address the black pit of my depression, but enjoys giving me coping mechanisms for the symptoms..

Everything is a huge effort.

I need to loose some weight (health reasons), I know what to do, but can't bring myself to do it.

My sex drive is dead.

I can't enjoy time with friends and family, because I can't bring myself to spill my beans on how I really feel inside. Everyone is having babies, buying houses, wearing summer dresses and planning vacations, I'm just over trying to care about stuff..

So what have you been up to?

[Sir-knob-head]

Time for you to find a better therapist that yiu connect to. Maybe even try tell yiur current that mechanisms right now isn't what you need.

Be kind to yourself and give yourself goals. Daily Weekly. monthly. Whatever. Something you wanna do for you! Because yiu both deserve it. And you matter

If it's easier to spill your beans to someone on the end of a keyboard. Feel free to spill it my way if you would like my input. I'd be happy to. If yiu just want an ear to neat up. That's fine too

[brownblob]

Been feeling the same way.
Everything is an effort.
I don't enjoy or care about anything.
My nephew is getting married at the end of the month, and I'm tempted to just say I had to work so I don't have to go and be in a crowd of happy dressed up people.
I've been referred to a psychiatrist and have to see him tomorrow. Not looking forward to this.
Work is boring and I feel anxious the whole time waiting for something to go wrong.
I hate myself

Hope you are having a good day.

[rivergirl]

I'm sorry you're going through this, Cami. A month is a really long time to wait for a therapy appointment. I've been seeing a therapist for about a year but she travels a lot & now is leaving the area permanently. I've found those month or longer breaks are really hard, even if I think ahead of time that it's going to be ok.

And it is hard feeling down when all these happy occasions are going on. I've been feeling that way about graduations this year.

I hope you can find someone in your life that you can open up to about how you're really feeling.

p.s. I like your panda, he always makes me smile a little.

rivergirl

[Cami]

Thanks to everyone who read and replied to my rant from the 16th. I was in a bad place that day.

I thought I'd just make a quick update, some things are looking up!

Work schedule issue: Nobody at work liked it, so we are going back to our old schedule, which was super manageable for me. So yay for that.

Spring: Has arrived. It's warm and sunny, and that helps with the mood (sometimes).

My therapist: Still not seeing her again until June 9th, if I have to wait another month for the next appointment, I'll start looking into private practices so I can go more regularly.

Most things are still a huge effort, but the fixing of the work schedule issue is helping. The way my hours were set up was a huge drain.

I'm trying to run more often and eat better, so hopefully this will all help in the long run..

Thanks again for chiming in. It really means a lot to me, to know that there IS people in the world who sees the world more like I see it. <3