YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

What behaviors make you realize that you are headed for another depressive episode (or suddenly wake you up to the fact that you are already in one)?

Dinner tonight was a spoonful of peanut butter and a couple of gulps milk straight from the carton at 11:15pm. As I was standing in the kitchen trying to summon up the energy to wash the spoon, I realized "Oh fuck, I haven't just been in a bad mood the past couple of days because of work being shitty."

(Also, I totally failed to wash the spoon. I stared at it for far longer than it would have taken to wash it and then tossed it in the sink.)

For me, signs are things like sitting down during the day and not having the energy to get up.
Not having the energy or motivation to take care of basic things like showering, brushing my teeth, trimming my beard
Not opening my mail.
Turning on the TV and just flipping through channels and never settling on anything or watching anything.
Waking up at 2:30 in the morning and feeling alone in the universe

depression is my life - I live in it so much that its od for me to be happy - feeling kind of meh is my normal - I am almost always there - to the point where it takes me a while to notice that I am happy -

I have no idea what an episode would look like for me - I just am - always just here - with resting sad dead girl face