YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

So, I'm in talk-therapy 1-2 times per month, and I'm feeling pretty blergh about it most times.

There's a language barrier with my therapist (I can't speak my mother tongue with her) and I don't feel like we agree on what the big issue is, but she's dirt cheap (and a PhD), so I stick around!

Anyway, I've really gotten back into running lately, and I've noticed that I don't get the endorphine high I used to get. Doesn't matter if it's a long, short, slow or fast run, it just doesn't kick in.

Could this be because my persistent depression isn't something I can talk my way out of, but something with the chems in my brain instead?

Any thoughts?

Thanks! <3 /Cami

Yes I do have thoughts - I started meds because long term depression completely changes your brain chemistry - it makes your norm so off base that you can't talk your way to better

Granted it makes you feel a little like a guinea pig but.. when you find a med that works that starts to take the edge off just a little it helps - I am on meds - I know that the edge is off I still feel the blahs a lot - because I am stressed and stressed and stressed and I am awful at adulting - but thats another story -

But it is seriously a thing - your brain just gets used to the lack of happy drugs your body normally makes - it says ok I guess you don't need this stuff and stops making them - (which is why us depressives get ourselves into trouble with self medicating to get those feelings back any of them however we can get them)

with the not being able to speak your language - maybe your therapist can hook into a translation service and have them translate over speaker phone so you can speak your truth - or - journal in free form in your native language - then translate as you have time to your therapist - you can scribble in ferocity in your more emotionally comfortable language - it may help I don't know

I think meds are definitely worth trying. If you aren't getting the feelings out of your running, it just seems like something isn't right. The frustrating thing about meds is trying to find one that works, but I know that if they do work they can make a big difference. As Paul says its like depression is watching life in black and white and if a med works it doesn't fix everything but it's like you start seeing things in color again.

Something Andrew Soloman said in this TED talk struck me deeply, "Grieving for your grandmother after she's passed away is normal. If you find yourself grieving and depressed 6 months after your grandmother has passed, that is abnormal and might be untreated depression" (give or take a word or two). I had been dumped by a girlfriend and still been devastated by the breakup over one year later. I never considered that that might be something abnormal about my brain.

My personal opinion is that depression is a thing that robs us of quality of life, if medication makes a difference, it is worth trying. Medication has helped me.

This is a great talk by Andrew, I hope you find something in it useful.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eBUcBfkVCo