YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

I made a bad life decision. I took the risk, and it was the wrong choice. I can't do anything to reverse it - What's done is done.
Now I'm just left with the coulda-woulda-shouldas. What am I supposed to do when those voices of the judgmental friends and family members I left behind come into my head, telling me that I have no business grieving over the choices I made because I MADE MY BED, AND NOW I SHOULD LIE IN IT?

Is nobody ever allowed to cry or get upset and need comfort because they're living with having made a bad decision they can't do anything about after the fact?
I've done my best trying to live with my lot - and it's not a terrible one, as in, I'm not starving on the street or anything...but my mind wanders back to the thought of how things could have turned out had I not made the change, and sometimes I get very upset and go to the darkest place imaginable in my mind. I have nobody to turn to about it, either, because most of my friends don't want people to "bother" them with anything less than a grin plastered all over their face. I feel like I'm surrounded by Stepford people who cannot tolerate it when other people reveal their true feelings of anxiety, inadequacy, the admission that they might have been less than perfect at some point. I'm sick of people on Facebook pretending their lives are perfect and Better Than Yours. It's so fake, I can't stand it.

I'm writing here because I have nowhere else to go with it, and I'm tired of sitting here alone. I don't live anywhere where there is a therapy group, and I cannot afford to see a therapist. I'm so tired of going through this all alone, and wish there were someone who knew how this felt and could understand and be kind and comforting in response to my message. Are you out there?...

Hmm, I thought I replied to your thread....well, here it is again!


If your friends and family aren't going to be there to help you get yourself back together after a bad decision, that's not your fault. People tend to show their true colors when confronted with conflict, and if they don't want to deal with it, then they aren't really loved ones, are they? Everyone makes mistakes - that's how we learn and grow as people. We can't learn to make the wise decision until we completely fuck it up first.

You can talk, you can vent, and then yes, you are expected to move on. But you can't move on until you deal with the situation at hand.

Instead of the ones who are brushing you off, perhaps look for new friends, or even better - a local support group. Obviously the situation is causing you intense grief, so a support group would be a GREAT time investment. You are surrounded with empathetic people who will know when it's appropriate for you to grieve, and then know when it's appropriate to tell you to get up and move on (with them right behind you).


And when your former friends/family come to YOU for help, maybe you need to remind them of when you needed THEM and they turned their back on YOU.

That's weird, I know I posted a reply to this too. And I remember fifthsonata had already replied to that "How to Cure Depression" thread I couldn't come up with a response for that wasn't a string of profanities.

It seems like you're having a harder time with other people giving you crap about being sad than with being sad to begin with, and I'm sorry that is the case. You are not alone. I understand how painful it can be to watch your Facebook newsfeed go by with all this good news while you refrain from posting how you really feel because it's not as great. You are not alone, honey, and I'm really sorry that two days had to go by before I realized my initial reply to your thread disappeared.

Chel, are you following me?

Or are we following each other?


Either way, I approve.

I am absolutely following you.

♥