YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

671 days and still struggling

Please take care, Baseball, we here are all wishing you well. The darkness lifts slowly, but it does lift.

Sorry to hear that you are still suffering. Whether or not you can see this now, you will be able to move past this at some point. You're a good person that deserves love and happiness and fulfillment and it sucks and is unfair that you have had your heart broken. You are worth the effort it will take to seek and find that love and happiness and fulfillment in your life - don't deny it to yourself because someone else hurt you.

Hang in there.

*hugs*

You really need one.

I want everyone that is thinking about getting divorced to think about it really hard. If you can be ok with the imagine of your spouse in the arms of another person then I say get a divorce. In my case I was cheated on but I still have anxiety attacks when the thought of her being with someone else hits me. When it does hit him it feels like a getting hit with a baseball bat. There is not a hour that goes by I don't think of her. I wish I could hate but I can't. Letting her go is by far the most devastating thing I have ever been thru.Sometimes I feel like giving up.

Letting her go is by far the most devastating thing I have ever been thru

Based on what you're saying, I don't think you really have let her go.

There is a lot of sadness and anger that comes out in your posts. She hurt you, and you haven't healed from that. Do you have any sense for why it still hurts this bad after so much time has passed? What thoughts go through your head when you think about her? What are the triggers that set it off? As much as I hate to say it, you are the only one that can make yourself feel better by understanding what you need to understand, process and heal, and to understand what you have to do to get the things that you need out of life and be a happy person again.

I really feel for you, man. You don't deserve to stay stuck in this misery.

Weary your correct. I'm mad , hurt , sad and every other emotion in between. I had to let her go for me not for her.fuck her and her ancestors. I say that and in about 10 min a memory will hit me and I'm done for awhile.

Why is it that I'm not the one who cheated and still grieve? I wake up and feel for her in bed and she is not there.

Why is it that I'm not the one who cheated and still grieve?

Because you're the one that got hurt. And it's normal to grieve. You didn't deserve to be treated the way she treated you.

But she did. And here you are. Are you going to continue to be tortured by the choice she made for the rest of your life? Or are you going to realize that you deserve better than someone who treated you that way? You can rise above this - you are worth loving yourself and being loved by others. The action of one person and what she did to you does not define you or the rest of your life. You are obviously a sensitive and caring person to be so brokenhearted even two years later. How is your social life/support system? I assume from your posts that you are not dating, but do you spend time with close friends? Are you close to family?