YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

I have been in this funk for a long time, ever since I can remember. Everyday I feel this hot pain in my chest and I just feel low. It's not as bad as it used to be (Thank you Cymbalta) but sometimes all I want to do is cry. To be hugged and to cry. I don't have a partner, I don't have friends that are that physical and I am not close to my parents. They don't even know that I've been going to therapy and taking meds. I just feel so lonely.

I find that everyday I think about death and dying. My brain just spins with thoughts of wanting to die. I feel like I'm not going to do it or hurt myself, I believe with all my heart that the meds are helping but this symptom or whatever you want to call it hasn't really gone away. I just wish to be invisible, to be gone. I know that it's not normal but it's just hard for me to fathom that other people don't think like this. That other people are scared to die. Why? Why? What's going to happen? The world will keep turning. I don't know maybe I just don't get it.

I am in therapy and I am on meds so I'm trying to get through this but it's hard to get through the day sometimes. I just keep plugging away hoping that one day I will have a zest for life. I don't remember having it but I hopefully I'll find it.

Thanks for listening. I just feel so lonely sometimes.

Hang in there, musical raven. Post away. Vent. Let loose. Lots of people are here to listen. PM if you need to.
Other people do feel like you do, but we don't always feel that way and don't continue to feel that way forever. It sucks to be so low and feel do isolated, but the depression increases the isolation, which reinforces the depression, which... You know how it works. You will break out of that cycle sometime, though. Maybe posting on here will help you do that. Be strong.