YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Came across this on Twitter:

http://dalepartridge.com/beat-depressio ... medication

...For those like me who don't believe in meds or want them but for some reason can't get them right now. (Cost, etc.)

Others that work for me:

- Laughing as much as possible. I go for a bellylaugh, I'd I can. Sometimes I will just start laughing for no reason. The silliness of it will make me laugh harder. Then I will actually begin thinking of funny things. They actually have laugh classes where people get together and do that.

- Looking as nice as I can look. Going that extra mile to get up early, pick a nice outfit, eat breakfast, and slowly stroll out the door helps my mood, as opposed to rushing out the door, hitting snooze 5 times, throwing on any outfit, and doing my make-up in a rush. That extra self-care does something for your self-worth.

Other ideas for the list?
(Great things to do whether you take meds or not...)

It sounds cliche, but saying the one thing you want someone else to say to you...the one thing you don't believe about yourself...that you wouldn't even believe if someone said to you...say to to yourself in the mirror every morning. Before you do anything else. Even if you can't leave bed to brush your teeth, shower, get dressed or even piss. Make yourself get up, just to say that thing, then go back to bed. If you say it enough times I wish I could say that you believe it. But chances are, you won't. But what I guarantee will eventually happen, is if someone finally says it to you, it won't sound as foreign and it will make it easier to work towards accepting it. If nothing else it gives you an obligation to yourself every morning.

Mine is "you deserve love", again..cliche.

The second thing I'd recommend is living five minutes, or single tasks at a time. I set small goals. I tell myself "today, you will brush your teeth" then I do that, sit down for ten catch my breath, commend myself and set a new goal. "You will put on your socks"...etc. I never set a goal to get through work. I make it easier. "You will get down the block" ..."get on the bus"..."go inside"..."clock in..." "See how you feel after ten..." "After lunch..." Etc. I can't always do all of it. But I give myself pauses in between. Setting small goals gives me more control over feeling like a failure, because I didn't try to do the overwhelming thing, and fail. I did the smaller thing and accomplished. Even if I don't decide to go further, it's an accomplishment.

Anyway, I don't know if any of that made sense, and I don't know if it helps. But sometimes it's all I can do to get through.
Best of wishes.

Yes. Exactly! Great suggestions.

I never say I am going to do the dishes. I tell myself I am going to do FIVE dishes.
(Note: That usually feels good and end up doing more, or all).

I understand this completely. That is the only way I can get most things done. Its literally like that movie What About Bob? "Baby step onto the elevator..." Lmao!

We don't walk around like Bob saying it outloud, or screaming all the way down the shaft (hahaha), but that is kind of how I silently make goals. Sometimes it is all I can do to get up and get myself to work. And on days off its even more of an effort. Because I know I don't have obligations I that I absolutely HAVE to meet. And not to mention, with no tasks in front of me, my mind can wander easily to dark places. Very easy. First I will just get really negative. Then its downhill from there. So its important to keep doing stuff sometimes. Keep active, especially on days off.

I can't do "to-do" lists, even with only a handful of tasks on it. They overwhelm me.

I went on for years without meds not because of insurance, but because I didn't want to be dependent on a substance, even if it was legal. And also because of the side-effects. What I did to cope was exercise, eat right (protein is the building block for your neurotransmitters, read Mood Cure by Julia Ross), taking supplements (St. John's Wort, GABA, 5HTP, etc.), jounaling and be in a state of denial about my depression. They worked for years until I realized that I needed to really get to the root of it and deal with it. I can't take the regular dose because of my side-effects, but I take an extreme low dose just to take the edge off or maybe for the placebo effect. I couldn't just face it head on without some sort of help. I think being aware of your feelings is extremely important. For me, journaling was good, but I got so internal with my depression that I realized I needed to let it out. Since I can't leave the house to go to a therapist and don't want to pay the hefty price, I decided it was a good idea to write in forums like this. This is really helpful for me. I am able to be completely honest without having to worry about what the other person is thinking. There's no judgement and that feels so safe. To people who don't have depression, it is way too heavy to share your honest feelings. They don't know what to do and they judge you even if they don't mean to. And also having the feeling of "getting it out there" in the world itself is therapeutic, even if no one sees it or replies to you.

I went on for years without meds not because of insurance, but because I didn't want to be dependent on a substance, even if it was legal. And also because of the side-effects. What I did to cope was exercise, eat right (protein is the building block for your neurotransmitters, read Mood Cure by Julia Ross), taking supplements (St. John's Wort, GABA, 5HTP, etc.), jounaling and be in a state of denial about my depression. They worked for years until I realized that I needed to really get to the root of it and deal with it. I can't take the regular dose because of my side-effects, but I take an extreme low dose just to take the edge off or maybe for the placebo effect. I couldn't just face it head on without some sort of help. I think being aware of your feelings is extremely important. For me, journaling was good, but I got so internal with my depression that I realized I needed to let it out. Since I can't leave the house to go to a therapist and don't want to pay the hefty price, I decided it was a good idea to write in forums like this. This is really helpful for me. I am able to be completely honest without having to worry about what the other person is thinking. There's no judgement and that feels so safe. To people who don't have depression, it is way too heavy to share your honest feelings. They don't know what to do and they judge you even if they don't mean to. And also having the feeling of "getting it out there" in the world itself is therapeutic, even if no one sees it or replies to you.

Great info about protein. I will have to read that book.

I was in denial for a long time myself. I was aware logically that I had depression, but then I would turn around and berate myself for something I wasn't able to accomplish. I lost energy, couldn't focus, lost motivation (or barely had it in the first place), couldn't get inspired, couldn't get organized... whatever. I did this for many years until fairly recently. Finally, in recent months, I said to myself, "Hey, let yourself off the hook. You have a mental illness and that is why simple everyday tasks and goals that other people don't even have to think twice about are much harder for you. Give yourself a break."

I am naturally more emotional than logically-minded. I started making an effort to approach things from logic more often, and that is when things started to slowly improve. Too much of either one causes misery. You can't block off your feelings, but you can't swim around in your feelings all the time either.

Another thing I have done is set a "Default" mood. That has helped a LOT. Find the mood you want to be in all day. In the morning, I decide I want to be the frequency of laughter, love, empowerment, comfort, peace, quiet strength. I just sit with the idea of that and try to "find it" and "tune in" until I feel I AM that. And I try to REMEMBER it. It makes things so much easier. Because when you leave the house, and encounter anything other than that, you know it's not you. It really helps you not to internalize circumstances and other people. Thought vibrations are just as strong as anything spoken too. Nevermind who smiles at you all the time and "seems" nice, or who is perfectly pleasant and who you know logically should be putting you perfectly at ease. Forget what you WANT that person to be. How do you feel around that person all the time? This has helped not only my depression but my empathic stuff. I'm an empath (or so I'm told). And that's a huge way to help me
keep clear on whether the feelings are "my stuff" or the "other person's stuff." I also spend much time on the phone at work. So it has this method is also proving helpful when I suddenly feel nervous on the phone or unstable for no reason. Sure enough, even though they started out the conversation with me pleasant enough, they eventually turn out to be angry about something with my company.

It's not perfect. And the reality is, sometimes you just don't have TIME to set a mood. haha That's not life. Sometimes, something pisses you off, and you have to be somewhere in five minutes. But.... not ALWAYS. That's the good part. Like today, I have nothing on the schedule. Someone on the road pissed me off. This woman wasn't driving dangerously, just stupidly. And it infuriated me anyway. I was on my way to a public place. I had the time today to sit in my car and return to my Default Mood. I played a couple of my favorite songs, thought about some funny things. Then I was able to return to her and realize, "Maybe she didn't realize what she was doing, maybe it wasn't intentional, maybe she thinks that's good driving" etc. etc. And by the time I entered the building of where I was going, I felt fine again. And I didn't send any more negativity out into the world. I am going to work on getting better at doing this in a pinch. But for now, I'm grateful be conscious of how to do it at least half of the time.