YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

I recently took a new job, in a profession I worked in for many years. I had not worked directly in the field for a while, and was a little nervous about taking it; it's a very stressful job, and I have an anxiety disorder that is just barely under control. But I had not worked full-time for more than 6 years, so I took the plunge.

And oh dear, that did not work out. I have worked for the company previously, and had observed a lot of problems in terms of management. Coming back, not a darn thing had changed.

I was working in a great team, and enjoyed the project. But I kept having more and more new responsibilities added to my job (not in the description), and it really took over my life. This weekend, I blew up at one of my managers. Classic anxiety freakout. I totally lost control (via email).

And I got fired. For the first three hours after the phone call, I cried and cried and cried and cried. Then I called my therapist and made an emergency appointment. Then I bought chocolate.

I'm trying to not beat myself up too much for losing control. That's something I hate about anxiety; there are times when it is in charge and I'm not.

I'm unemployed (again). But I'm also relieved. As much as I hate to admit I can't do something, I've finally been forced to admit to myself that I'm not up to doing that job any more.

I do have other ideas in the works. Family, boyfriend and therapist are all super supportive, and I really appreciate having a community like this one. It means a lot to me.

Good for you!

I can't always control my anxiety, but I've become better at accepting it.
I no longer feel my anxiety is a reflection on whether I'm a good or a bad person.

You got fired? Congratulations. Something good will happen now. So said no less an authority than Mr. Carl Jung (highly apocryphally, but there you go).

In one sense, getting fired is a signal for deep reflection and profound change (see below), and in practice it is often the necessary jumpstart to one's life. Many people (myself included) have to admit that getting fired was the best thing that ever happened to us.

A word of advice, offered kindly: examine your conscience, and identify the mistakes both sides made in what resulted in your firing. It may be 50-50, 80-20. Examine your conscience and remember that with each firing there is plenty of blame to go around. (I've been fired three times, so I know of what I speak.) What lessons you can learn, take. Leave the rest and get on with your life. To be blunt, your former employers and coworkers have already moved on.

While getting fired is one of life's great experiences (in the long run), it is my opinion and experience that unemployment is a personal crisis. Long term unemployment is a disaster.

FWIW, were I unemployed tomorrow, here is what I would study to improve my chances (in order): HTML, AutoCAD, Git/Github, Photoshop, and a second language. If you have time/money: 3D printing, IoT, GIS. Anything that is popular on lynda.com is a good bet.

Enjoy your new freedom. Learn what you can from the firing, and make a plan on how to avoid repeating the mistakes that both you and your former employers made. Study, read job search books, and get back out there. Unemployment is a bad neighborhood. It is no place you want to stick around.

Good for you! I for one can say I'm proud of you. As all of us are constantly being lead around on a leash by our ego, one of the most difficult things we can do is to embrace the fact that we DO have limitations, and that is in fact OK. Just by your post you seem to be a well-spoken individual with good insight and compassion, and the fact that you could let yourself have a setback and take it with grace should be celebrated. Take that moment and realize that your anxiety wanted you to believe life would be over if things did not go as planned at your job. Did it? Is your anxiety right? Is it ever right? Questions to ponder at least. There's nothing wrong with sadness or disappointment, let them be part of you and then incorporate them into your resolve. You have made yourself a stronger person through this experience. Keep going.

Thank you for your advice and support! I really appreciate it - heading to lynda.com ASAP.

You're right, it's very difficult to actually be unemployed. The anxiety is not good right now. I'm doing what I can to get healthier and less isolated.

Go for it!

I would start with SQL if I were you.

Keep us posted. Good luck.