YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

I am Shirley and I am from Abbotsford. I am a mother of two kids. My son is 18 and daughter is 13 years old. My husband left me when my daughter was five. So by now you people can understand what my family life is. Now I am worried about my son who should be the support and backbone of the family. He is addicted to alcohol and he is at times showings of anxiety.I didn't restrict him in anythings and I allowed to enjoy or do whatever he loved to. But this has made him in bad condition. I am worried now. I can't up this to anyone else as mine was a love marriage. It was my friends that supported in my marriage. I came to know from his friends that his girlfriend bitched him and that is something made him like this. And some friends tease him saying that he is a looser and things of that sort. It was his sister that said to me about his problem in seeing. He don't talk to me much. But three days before he was telling me about the things that are happening to my life. He was telling that he is not able to see and can't say no to drugs or alcohol. I was thinking of taking him for an eye checkup at Valley Laser eye centre ( https://valleylasereyecentre.com/ ). But I am worried. I don't the reason for this. Normally, people those addicted to alcohol have eyesight issues, Can it be the reason for his lost eyesight? I don't know what is to be done. At times he is showing signs of anxiety. What could be the actual thing that is disturbing my son? And because of all these tensions and stresses. I am depressed and worried.I don't know what will happen to my kids in the future? I am very much worried about their future. I want to get out of this. I want to help my son to come out of this. What could be the things that I should be doing to help my son? Help our family in making the right decision?

Hi Shirley.

First off, I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time. At least you came looking for help, though, which isn't something that everyone does. Second, don't take anything I say as expert advice. I'm just a person who comes from a somewhat similar family situation and can share what I think might have helped me.

I think the primary thing to deal with is the alcohol. It's at least as important as the vision and probably more so, since whatever treatment he gets for his vision is likely to be ineffective if he's getting drunk all the time. It's hard to remember to take your medicine when you're drunk and some medications are dangerous when mixed with alcohol. I don't know if this link has anything useful, but it might: http://www.canadadrugrehab.ca/British-C ... grams.html

Dealing with an alcohol problem is a long-term process, so you may find that once the process is started you have a whole different set of things to deal with in no time. And speaking of which, make sure you get some help for yourself, too. You may consider yourself just "the mother of a troubled son" or something like that, but you're also "the woman whose husband walked out on her" and "the woman who's been raising two kids on her own" as well.

As they say on the airplanes, "put your own oxygen mask on before you try to help anyone else.

Good luck.