YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Some thoughts on my mental health plan for myself. Please join in with your own thoughts if you have them!

-Realize that all time spent on the internet is going to put thoughts of the virus in my head. Everything is a constant reminder. Limit use accordingly
-Use all connections to others. Even a small connection is a connection and will be meaningful. Now is not the time for pride
-Ask partner to meditate with me daily to keep me on track
-Don't think too far into the future
-Put effort into physical appearance once a week
-Get outside
-See work as a respite and a place of action and order, not a place of fear

Heather

Excellent. You are well in your way to success.

Agreed. Good stuff!

I made a similar list for myself on New Year's day. But now, four months in I find myself missing things.. Should print out a couple of copies and leave them around the house.

So easy to forget!

Thanks for the replies, Oak and SD.
I'm feeling lost and lonely this week which always brings out the misguided protector telling me "Oh have you forgotten nobody likes you?" that encourages me to withdraw.
I'm using the tool my therapist gave me:
Is it kind
Is it true
Is it helpful
which is keeping me from going under, but still a struggle.
Heather

Let me just say, there are people who deserve to share in your real emotions and the opportunity to work out what you really need in others. You’re certainly not pushing me away by feeling sad. You’re just giving me permission to feel the same way. I was punished when my sadness showed too. You putting it out there now let’s me stop pretending, for others, that everything is okay. What happens then? Nothing bad.

Beany Boo, thanks for being willing to sit in sadness with me. I appreciate it so much.
When I share my truth, people cannot look me in the eye. And I don't know if I'm reading them wrong, or if I'm touching something in them they are not ready to look at. Either way, I end up feeling alone and confused. I really don't understand people at all.
Is it them or is it me?
Heather

If you share your truth, and people cannot look you in the eye, it is them. You deserve to have your truth heard. Please take care.

It’s an excellent question. It’s both of you. As much as people would like to communicate their sadness immediately first time and as much as people would like to notice it in others and have the ‘correct’ response ready to deliver - it’s just not that simple. It takes practice to overcome habit and reflex, and then a commitment from both that they’re going to ‘stay’ while they work out how to give and receive emotion.

There’s a phenomenon where, even if there were a right way to receive and acknowledge your sadness, you’re still so used to it being ignored, that you would still take any ‘blip’ from the other - a sigh, a flicker, a pause - as a sign of rejection. It’s just something in the nature of vulnerability.

In truth they’re probably taking it in, while at the same time not really possessing in their toolbox, the necessary gestures and noises to signal to you, straight away, that they are there with, and see and hear, you.

Anyway, that’s one answer.

If I could look you in the eye through my laptop screen, I would, Heather. I'm glad you feel safe enough to share your sadness here.

rivergirl

Hello Heather,

How are you feeling today? I hope you're OK.

SD