YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hate new people?
Hate social gatherings?
Hate to complain?
Wonder what people are thinking about you in public?

Well rejoice this is now a topic on this forum for you!

I myself being a semi functional sufferer of social anxiety for the last 15 years or so, find myself looking for other people’s experiences on the topic.

I’m in my mid 30’s and really have only come to the realization of what my issue was in the last 2-3 years. I have done a few group general anxiety sessions but other than that am still new at dealing with this issue.

If nothing else I just wanted other people to know that they are really not alone and there are lots of us out there. We’re not so good at speaking up so why not get the ball rolling and see what happens.

I listed a few things I have problems with up top so for fun why not share a few of yours?

Thanks All!

I'm 39, got full disability a year ago with a cocktail of diagnoses.

I contacted the District Psychiatry(Denmark) last summer and they've pretty much narrowed it down to anxiety. It's really hard to get a disability pension over here, but since I dropped out of college ten years ago, I've pretty much been in different forms of therapy, job training or other types of programs for people, who can't keep a job to save their lives. I've just been assigned a new psychologist, who says the most optimal is a weekly appointment and I should probably expect this is to take a year at best. I really want to stop living in a controlled state terror, but sometimes I feel my brain has slowly mutated, to were all thoughts are processed in my overdeveloped horror center.

I also figured out in the last few years that I have some issues with Social Anxiety... In my early 30's now.

Most people would say, "Pshhh no you don't, you are always talking to people when you're out!" Ah yes, I might be - but what you don't know is that I've barely eaten anything all day since my nerves are on overdrive and I feel nauseous. Or that I would start drinking early to settle those nerves, still not eat, then be too drunk and make an ass of myself. Oh what's that? Silence? Well then I MUST start chatting endlessly about lame things to fill that silence. Being in the middle of a crowd of people and feel completely and utterly alone? Check. Avoid certain situations because of a nervousness about what "might" occur? Check. Constant paranoia that people think I'm weird/dumb/talk too much/say inappropriate things? Sure, add that to the pile... How about not reading the room and talking about things that make people uncomfortable. What's that? You don't want me talking openly about a family member's suicide? Sorry, didn't read the clues, remember I'm talking cause I'm nervous as fuck!

So yes, while I may not suffer from it to the point of never going out, I'm damn close... And it's only gotten worse as I've gotten older.

It would get interesting when my desire to drink would go head to head with my fear of going out. Part of my brain would be yelling "we're out of scotch!", and another part would be yelling "are you crazy? There's people out there!". Good times. That's an actual downside to not drinking anymore. At least it got me out of the house.

I'm so envious of people who make it look so easy to be social.

There are support groups for bipolar and depression that I'm too scared to go to. I'd try to find a support group for social anxiety but I'm afraid it would be a room full of people staring at their laps and twitching. Or worse, that that would just be me.

Intense interactions makes me want to sleep and sleep and sleep for the following three days.

It was hilarious - I joined Toastmasters, and my skin was on fire for the days leading up to a speech, and I had to go to bed immediately after the speech, and sleep for two days. But the speech went well.

It made for a hideously painful 4 years at college - my social anxiety went through the roof, and my undiagnosed depression and anxiety added to that.

Also, welcome to the forum, Vode! Great topic idea, great contribution to our little forum!

Oh, MizLzie, I could have sworn you were describing me. Were you? LOL

I've read some about social anxiety and found it describes most of my issues with anxiety. I've been diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder, but not with social anxiety, specifically. Thus, have never been treated for social anxiety. I am eager to learn more about it.

Thanks for the thread Vode!

Hi All,

After 44 years of anxiety, nervousness and shaking, I finally spoke with a doctor ( I actually sobbed and shook) about it and was told about SAD. I'm taking Zoloft and going for my first therapy session tomorrow. Of course, I have been worried about it since the moment I made the appointment. Any advice? I don't want to come off as a whiner. I have an ok life but feel like I have been missing out on a lot. I don't have any close friends. They say I am hard to get to know and secretive. When I am with people I can't wait to get away and when I am alone, I'm lonely.

Hi Lilac

That's awesome you are going for therapy, being a SAD man myself I know how hard it is to make that commitment to see a "new" person. Just be strong and make sure you make that appointment, don't let yourself start making excuses. I know the secretive vibe we tend to give off, I get it a lot of "snob' comments but its hard for someone to understand the mess that is in our heads. I'm still working on making the jump to actual one on one therapy so my advice isn't going to be worth much, but I would suggest you ask if your therapist if they has working with SAD patients before and if they have experience in cognitive therapy as it seems to be the most successful way to tackle this issue.

Good luck! I'm cheering for you!

Thanks Vode,

Well, I made it to my in-take appointment and promptly had a panic attack the minute I walked through the door. New place. New people. New experience. You all know the feeling. However, the in-take interviewer was awesome. She asked me questions in a kind and soft way and gave me plenty of time to stutter through them. I'll be assigned a therapist this week and start the work. My formal diagnosis is PTSD and SAD. I am hopeful that with my new friend Zoloft and some therapy, I can get out into 'the world' a little more without wanting to drink my face off first. I have wanted to join a book club for years. It is a small goal but one worth working toward.