YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

I lost my iPod, and didn't listen to the podcasts for a few months, until I found an app on the Kindle I could use. So, a few weeks ago, I was in the car with my dad, driving to the lake house for 2 weeks, and I just had the feeling that Paul was going to read one of my survey answers during the podcast. It was the podcast with Emily Gordon, and I had filled out surveys the week before Paul posted that one.

All of a sudden I heard Paul read my name, and the fear and anxiety kicked in like crazy. I started hyperventilating, and had to stop the podcast so that I could try to calm down and prepare to hear him read my secrets to the world. My dad looked at me to see what was wrong, and I told him that I had read a crazy chapter in "Game of Thrones," (the red wedding anyone???). I had to open the window to get some fresh air in to calm me down, I switched to The Nerdist podcast to get some lighthearted comedy in order to steel myself to hear Paul read my survey responses.

Anyone else run into this?

Wow, that's intense! How did you feel after he had finished reading your survey? Was there any relief?

I can't really relate since my surveys have never been read on the podcast, but, when the survey section does come up, I do get both somewhat excited that mine might be read, while also incredibly afraid that they might be, so, I imagine there might be some mixed emotions if it actually did happen.

I hope there was some calm to it afterwards!

PS, the read wedding could certainly have given a similar response, hahaha.

Afterwards it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders! It was great.

Oh goodness, yes. Very intense. Heard it, immediately felt flush and my face got really hot. Thankfully I was alone. I'm happy that I finally shared something that had been weighing on my for so long. However, I still am feeling somewhat embarrassed and that I should have just lurked instead of putting myself out there. Like I said the wrong things or something.

I know you posted this a few weeks ago. How are you feeling now? I hope you've gotten some calm and had fun at the lake house.

I'm doing well actually. I actually sent Paul an e-mail letting him know what had happened when I heard him reading my survey answers, and we've exchanged a few messages over the past few weeks. I'm feeling better now, but it does keep popping up at the back of my head that he DID read my secrets for everyone to see. Each time I listen to a podcast, I wonder how the survey and e-mail submitters are feeling when they hear Paul reading their words for everyone to hear. I wonder, are they ok with this? Are they having a complete freak out? What are they feeling as they hear it?

When Paul read my letters to him, I had been waiting to hear from a therapist. It had been three weeks since my intake appointment and I had been too nervous to call them. I had decided 'Fuck it. I can live with this. I have been for my life anyway.'. It was surreal. Paul read my letters and I got a celestial kick in the pants. I called the mental health center and got an appointment and have been seeig my therapist for about a month and a half now. Awesome timing Paul!!!