YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hi All,

So I have been in therapy for all of a month and this week we talked about what ways I comfort myself when I am triggered. I learned a deep breathing excercise that I have been using but I have a lot of other ways that I have been using since I was a kid. I thought I could share and you could share yours and maybe we could all have a few more tools in out chests to use.

I told my therapist these things and she said they were all perfectly ok as long as they didn't become OCD. So here goes...I love to sit in my closet and read or pat my dog. I am comforted when I hug my big teddy bear and sit quietly in a dark room. I feel better when I color with crayons or markers for a while. I feel a lot better when I close all of the shades in my house a put on some music and hoola hoop. It makes me smile and the rhythmic movement helps sooth me.

Thanks for your time. Have a great day. Lilac

I like to run cold water from the bathroom sink* over my hands.

I like to feel.

It feels real.


*I believe, rightly or wrongly, that the bathroom sink water is colder than the kitchen sink water.

Oak, I firmly believe that bathroom water is colder.

And as for what I do to comfort myself when I feel bouts of anxiety, I write down all of the things that are eating at me. Sometimes if that doesn't work I will sleep. If sleep isn't an option, I spend a couple of minutes with my head down and just concentrate on the rhythm of my breathing.

I love dumping all my worries onto paper - digital hasn't been having the same impact for some reason. I first just spew the list out, prioritize things, identify which things or jobs are dependent on other people (somewhat out of my control), short term versus long term. I always put things that were bugging me that I have done are am in the process of getting done or just stupidly simple (on paper, not every day) like shower before noon, vacuum. I will even break down items to vacuum upstarts and downstairs or room by room so I have more shit to check off.

I almost never refer to the list after a day or two, until I go to make a list and dig around and end up finding the same old scribbler and see the old list. Although seeing how much didn't get done ever or still is a bit of a bummer, but if I was looking for the paper anyway, life was already getting overwhelming.

I have read there are actual studies that show burning paper with worries on them actually helps you let them go mentally - haven't tried that, apparently even throwing the pieces of paper in the garbage helps. Don't remember where I read that to post a link though. Let me know if anyone tried/tries it and if it works.

I like to have a hot bath either to relax or to help set my mood for a situation I might be facing later in the day. I find having my head submerged enough to have my ears under the water line while letting my head float is very comforting.

Lots of bubbles are a must!

Ahhh, I love the feeling of cold water on my hands and feet! It's totally calming and reminds me of being a kid and putting my hands in the water fountain in the summer to keep cool. I guess it makes me think that, if I'm cooler, then my heart rate will go down, so I'll be calmer? If I know I'm going to be somewhere that makes me anxious, I'll usually wear something open that will help keep me colder and calmer.

For other comforting things, ummmm. Mostly, when I'm anxious or depressed, I can't do much of anything besides lay on the couch or whatnot, so. I just try to distract my mind with music or podcasts, maybe movies or television if I can keep my eyes open, although sometimes, those make it worse. Like, I like watching reality competitions, but if I'm anxious, it just makes me feel more anxious like I'm the one of stage on the show, haha. It's better to clear my mind, and it's hard to focus on anything in those times anyway, so it's not too hard.

I used to journal a lot, but I find it too frustrating to keep my hands up with my thoughts, and I'm a clumsy typer, and it's too much effort.

Eating junk is also good.

I HUG MY BIG TEDDY BEAR TOO! Haha.

When my anxiety is at its worst, I curl up into a tiny ball and tense all the muscles in my body. After a couple minutes, I release the physical tension, and some of the emotional tension goes with it. I feel like that's kind of Girl, Interrupted, but whatever.

In lesser instances, listening to music or a podcast really helps.

Three cheers for teddy bears!! My therapist said that it is perfectly ok to do so which helped me feel a lot better about it. I leave her on my bed now instead of rushing to hide her when people come to my house. Cocoa is a part of me and my quirky way of coping with my fears and sadness. I have come to see that hugging a teddy is a lot healthier than diving into a bottle or toking up. Hummm... maybe teddies should be a part of all therapy sessions.

This makes me want to get a big ol teddy bear. Mostly I want a giant dog to squish, but until then, maybe it's okay to have a fuzz to hug, haha.

Music music music!!! And dancing of course. Nothing like throwing yourself around a room for a pick me up lol.

Also I find feeling like a kid again calms me down. So watching cartoons and coloring... Puzzle games.. Rubiks cubes.. Keeping my hands busy.

But sometimes I need to just lay there. Sometimes the best thing I can do is not distract myself. And just let my entire body sink into the mattress.

It's a few people who mention cold water... I'll give that a shot! Thanks <3