YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

The past few weeks my anxiety has become so severe in parts, that it's hard to function properly everyday.
I wake up every morning with this sick feeling in my stomach and I am completely terrified all day that I will fall into a panic attack, particularly in public.

I have this constant fear, and it's consumed me more everyday recently, that I'm going to drop dead and I'll be no where near my family.

My anxiety is particularly bad when I get on public transport; when I step onto a bus or a train, I can sort of feel my chest tighten and a slight panic start to settle in. It never amounts to full on attacks but it's the fear of them that keeps me unsettled.

It hasn't been like this until about 3 weeks ago and I have no idea how to distract myself or keep calm and forget about it. I'm scared that I'm going crazy and that I'm going to be locked away.

Ahhhhh.

I feel the same way. I just read this post and noticed the date was exactly the same as the beginning of my thread. I hope everything is going better. Hang in there.

you are definitely NOT crazy and won't be locked away! My anxiety drives me crazy too.....can you think of anything that's different that may have pushed the anxiety levels higher? I know sometimes I have to reflect and look back to see why my anxiety levels shoot way up....ugh anxiety can be a nightmare to deal with. I like to tell myself that it is the world's worst superpower, at least I am sensitive to the things around me. You aren't alone, i hope things get to be better for you. Even if not, we are always here

I can totally relate to your post... When severe anxiety comes on, it really is hard to function...you don't have the mental energy to focus on other things... I know what the "sick feeling in the morning" feels like...it's like I would rather just die in my sleep than to have to get up... For me, it's like a panic state...I don't know initially why I'm in that state physically, but my "smart" brain tries to figure out what's wrong and will quickly find me the reasons why I'm feeling this way...sometimes it's because I don't have kids and the thought of dying alone scares the life out of me, or the fact that I'm not close to my siblings and extended family and I'm all alone, hence I'm going to die alone...or what if something happens to my husband and I'm in an emotional and financial hell...or the fact that I don't have any real friends who I can confide in... It's a terrible feeling and I don't know why we have to suffer with these feelings... You mentioned you are scared to have a panic attack in public...I think we all share that fear...it's fine (not good, but fine) to have one in our homes where we don't have to think about other people's eyes on us...I wonder why we don't feel "safe" when we are out... We feel so isolated and alone... I wish we could all feel safe when we're out with "strangers." For me, I guess I don't feel deserving of other people's support...that if I get an attack, I'll be a nuisance to other people... As for the unsettling anxiety when you feel like you're going to break down uncontrollably, I've found that coming to these sites and writing out all of my thoughts really help me calm my mind and gather my thoughts.

I experience terrible anxiety when in public. Panic is quite often triggered by something; maybe try and figure out what's triggering it. So for what it's worth, here are my suggestions to you, particularly when you are getting on a bus or are in public.

Start breaking your fears down (talking to yourself; not out loud of course):

1) I got up and got to the bus, so I must be okay.
1) If I drop dead or faint or pass out, what will happen? ...Well, likely someone would help you.
2) What if I looked crazy or stupid? ...People don't know what's causing it, and would likely just react.
3) Will I get locked up? ...Anxiety is very common, and no I don't think they would lock you up.
4) Why does the bus trigger anxiety? Is it the people? Is it fear of being looked at or fear of judgement? ...All those other people on the bus are just people too and probably don't even notice you or if they do it's for a second or two. As much as you have things you are thinking about, other people do too.

You hang in there.

Now if I could only take my own advice...

Having a shitty day or week is a side effect of being alive. Unless one is a jolly optimist fucker is can be a damn ordeal getting through the day. What gets me through the day is knowing that I can go back to my private apartment, hang out with my cat and listen to music or a podcast.

Meds can be nice to I have found Sertraline to be a wonder drug that seems to even me out- meaning that I can get through the day without crashing my car or yelling at myself or others


elmer68

That sounds really really tough. I hope you can find some relief.

Reminds me of me 10 years ago. I could barely leave my apartment. It was like everyone was looking at me and could see how I felt about myself inside.
i got sober shortly after that. Much later I got into therapy. One thing that helped more than anything was I discovered I was overly judgmental. I judged everyone and I always assumed everyone judges me. My therapist pointed this out. I "took the eyes off of me" walking around trying not to look and judge people. Trying to trust that most people were not judging me. This has helped my anxiety more than anything.

If your not in therapy, do yourself a huge favor and find a good one.