YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

As far back as I can remember people have been telling me that I am tense. Chiropractors, doctors, massage therapists and any one else who might feel my neck or shoulders would comment on how tense I am. I grew up skateboarding and didn't ever pay much attention to it when I was young, but now that I'm 25 my body hurts all of the time. My main issue is with chronic pain in my neck and shoulders which gives me tension headaches. I go to a chiropractor; however, I'm so tense that he can't adjust me properly (however it does seem to help). I've gone to the doctor (and I am still going), but they haven't been able to find any thing. Since I've been tense for my whole life I believe there is something fundamentally wrong with how my body works.

I currently have my dream job. I own a skateboard apparel company and a skate shop / flagship store. I do all of the design work for my company which requires me to be hunched over a sewing machine all day which just makes my back hurt more. I also do a lot of skateboard filming for the team we sponsor which is something I love but, swinging a camera around on a skateboard makes my neck and back hurt even more.

On top of all of that I think I have Aspergers. I know it is bad to self diagnose, but I think my personality fits. I don't want to bore you with all of the reasons I believe I have Aspergers, but when I told my parents about some of the symptoms for Aspergers and they both were supprised but agreed that I fit that description.

My latest theory is that my Aspergers has made me tense my whole life because I have anxiety over the fact that I don't really understand how "normal people" work. I can't be sure though. I honestly don't think I feel anxious often, but I might just not know which emotion I'm feeling if I do have Aspergers.

The culmination of everything bearing down on me makes me depressed and want to give it all up since it isn't making me happy anyway (not suicide).

No idea, but I bet it could be. I would say your next best bet is a yoga instructor (they can give private classes and instructions for special painful issues), a meditation class and an acupuncturist. I bet if you saw all three and had treatment a few times of times you would be able to get better clarity and guidance on how to address and correct your pain. Hang in there, chronic pain is a really horrific thing to live with. Oh also, your/a therapist can help you figure out the asperger's thing better and of course help you with any anxiety/depression that you DO have! Bet an Aspergers support group would do wonders too! Even without the DX, if you FEEL you connect with that, then I say hit the support groups for sure!

No idea, but I bet it could be. I would say your next best bet is a yoga instructor (they can give private classes and instructions for special painful issues), a meditation class and an acupuncturist. I bet if you saw all three and had treatment a few times of times you would be able to get better clarity and guidance on how to address and correct your pain. Hang in there, chronic pain is a really horrific thing to live with. Oh also, your/a therapist can help you figure out the asperger's thing better and of course help you with any anxiety/depression that you DO have! Bet an Aspergers support group would do wonders too! Even without the DX, if you FEEL you connect with that, then I say hit the support groups for sure!

Thanks for the reply. When I was in college (I actually have a degree in physics which fits in with Aspergers pretty well) I was really into working out and being healthy. I have done lots of yoga, and I used to stretch my neck for 30 minutes before I lifted weights. I've also tried acupuncture and meditation, but none of these things really provide me with relief. I even went to an osteopathic doctor for a few months with no avail. I think I'm going to start PT again since it will help, but I still think my main problem is that my body is just way more tense than it should be and stretching only treats the symptoms.

I see a psychiatrist for ADHD and I used to take adderall, but I don't like how much more tense it makes me. I don't see any one for Aspergers, but I have taken multiple online self evaluations for Aspergers and I always meet the criteria for a milder form of the disorder. I honestly think I would be able to manage it okay if the constant drone of my neck and back didn't zap all of my motivation and energy away. There is also no real cure for Aspergers or medication to take specifically for it either. So, I'm not really sure a DX is that necessary, but if I was actually DX I think it would be easier to talk about it with my friends since I wouldn't feel like I'm manipulating them for special treatment.

Hello,

i can't say anything about aspergers. But pain in neck and shoulders sounds very common to me in relation to stress. I always considered myself an active person and not really having stress. But one self can not really measure the level of stress, unless it changes and there is some actual relief. Anyways, everyone has a different story.

For me helped:

- swimming and walking,
- a daily 15 minute routine on an exercise ball before bedtime (got the steps from my phys. therapist),
- almost no alcohol, no coffein
- special neck pillow and enough sleep (i need 7-8 hrs)
- pills to lower blood pressure
- some meditation (i do this talk to my arms and my legs, talking to them to become heavy, then in thoughts pouring warm water over then)

That all in combination over time gave me my sleep back. I no longer sleep on my stretched arm, the pillow helps me alot. The rumination before sleep went away. And i wake up pain free.

I still get my neck pain, when:

- playing fast sports like squash or badminton, with a lot of jumping and fast stretching (still, love it, sigh)
- sitting in the office
- having panic attacks (muscle memory?)

In any way, that is my path, that i endure now for 2 years. Reasons for my stress, well, its not all gone. But to have no pain, my goodness, what a present.

My panic attacks and my fears to die gave me a proper kick to do something and gain momentum and not giving up.

So good luck with finding your way.

The fact that you have gone and continue to see a doctor and a chiropractor says that you are vested in your health, so I think the next step is to go and see a counselor. Regardless of whether or not your neck pain and migraines are related to stress, a counselor can give you tools to cope with stress in the work place, feeling disconnected from other people, and living with chronic pain. You say "The culmination of everything bearing down on me makes me depressed and want to give it all up since it isn't making me happy anyway (not suicide)." That alone is a great reason to go see a counselor. Worst case scenario a counselor would be able to help you develop coping mechanisms you would carry with you for the rest of your life.

That being said I used to have chronic migraines. I didn't seek counseling for that in particular (the number 3 was ruling my life, aka OCD) but as I began to learn relaxation techniques my migraines went away. I still get a headache when I get stressed sometimes, but at least I don't feel like I can't see or like I may throw up. I also use my relaxation techniques CONSTANTLY at work with plain old cubicle stressouts.