YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hi All,

I have been doing really well lately. Feeling good. Open and joyful. That is until my therapist said that we should set a 'terminationn date' for my therapy. Ever since then, I have been weepy and sad. Mean thoughts have been creaping in on me again. Generally, I feel like shit. I hope I don't meed therapy because I am ending therapy. Seriously, I am grieving deeply. Has anyone else gonbe through this? Any help would be great.

Thanks, Lilac

Why is she terminating it? I think your emotions are normal. You are sad, anxious and mad. You are coming to closing time with someone who you have an important connection with so it makes sense. You are sad about it ending. Anxious because you don't know if you can do it without the therapist. Mad because it is getting sprung on you.

Those are my thoughts. I could be completely wrong, but that is how I would feel : D.

Lilac,

have you spoken with her again since your post?

I had to go through something similar because I was seeing PhD students of counselling for free in a clinic, and they were on short-term rotations, so several times I had to "wrap things up" by the end of summer / the semester. Which of course is nearly impossible to do.

Can you ask for a referral to another therapist? Or, does it help at all to think of it not as 'ending therapy' but as closing off just one part of one issue, having made progress?

hey lilac,

ive had the same problem, i understand how u feel. my counsellor was an intern so she was only their for a few months. it sucks when you are use to someone and now you have to switch. i have had to switch therapists many times, and i would feel anxious and i would miss them... but over time i would get use to the new therapist. but yeah it takes time

Thank you all. It is nice to know that I am not alone in my feelings. I have been trying to process my feelings of sadness and loss. I have been using all of the tools that my therapist has taught me. None of it felt like it was helping so I just sat in the sadnesses and felt it all. I am feeling a bit better but am still feeling heartbroken.

It is true, I am afraid that I can't do life without her support. I am terrified that I will sink back into the depression and not be able to dig my way out again. I see her this afternoon and plan to tell her all of my feelings about the end of our sessions. It seems like my feelings come in waves from a storm. They wash over me and make a terrible mess then they are gone and I clean up my beach. Well, at least I am feeling something. For years I felt nothing and now feel everything deeply.

Thanks again all. Lilac

I know that feeling of something coming to an end. I don't know why therapists do this, I've had one tell me and I quit out on her because I didn't want that ending doom. You can tell your therapist about your feelings and if she is not understanding and cannot help you through this, it's time to move on and change therapists if you still want it. Remember that you have the power, don't give it to anyone else, even a therapist. You know if you still need help or not, don't let anyone else dictate what you need. You can still be powerful while sharing your weakness. You are there to receive her service. You are paying her. If you are not ready and disagree, tell her. She's not God. If you guys aren't on the same page, then fire her. Even if you don't feel your personal power, know that it's there, it's your right, and try to figure out ways to regain it back. Therapists are there to help, but the ultimate power to fix yourself is within you. Just because we feel weak and have issues doesn't make us powerless to other people. There's a boundary that no one can cross. You do what you want and give yourself what you need, girl.

Fuck, Brooke! Will you be my therapist?!

I don't know what I need right now. I am going to an energy healer. It is bringing up a lot of shit but in a healing way.

Thanks for the insight.

I am trying a different therapist. The darknessis back. I need soone to talk to. I can't stand this. My skin is on fire. I have the zaps. I hate feeling this way. I am about to explode. I hate talking to new people but I have to talk to someone. How can I build
Ttrust when I am so desperate? Crap I hope she can help me. I can see the end of my rope and it scares me.

For an anxious person, most change is always associated with danger and worry. So when my therapist began talking about terminating, I wanted to cling on, even thought our sessions had gotten more of a socializing or maintaining nature, instead of therapy.

I felt stopping or taking a break made sense, however I also suddenly got in touch with an angry side of myself. I wasn't really angry at my therapist, wasn't loud or anything, but an angry energy or vibe beamed from me and was noticeable in the office. I really liked my therapist and maybe because we had to part ways, I felt a rejected and like I was losing an important person in my life.

The sudden anger really scared me, both because expressing anything of anger was very foreign to me, but also because I really hadn't noticed how angry I was deep inside, behind all the anxiety. A part of me wanted or needed to yell, cry and fight. I think parting with a good therapist will always be a bit like a breakup to where, once the thought of a termination date, it's as if the spell is broken and like after a heartbreak, you just can't keep on being "just friends." The hurt is too big and you gotta get away from it.

After I stopped seeing my therapist, I still had a lot of work to be done, but I also thought, I needed a break from therapy and in order to start on a new chapter in therapy, I needed a new start with someone else.

I'm going through this, too. My psychiatrist was acting as me therapist and in order to decrease her load she gave some of her therapy clients to others in the organization. I still see her for my meds, I only saw her as my therapist for 6 months, and I totally understand where she's coming from, but I still feel this deep loss. It's like losing someone who really gets you and cares about you and someone you can trust. I cried about it in my first session with my new therapist.

I understand it's not personal, but it feels very personal, especially for someone suffering from anxiety. Logically, I'm totally on board with this new plan, but emotionally I'm devastated. Plus, I feel like I wasn't done with her and now I have to start all over explaining everything going on with me and with a new person who needs to get to know me and I them. It sucks.