YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Well I haven't been to an ED support group since I was 15 and I'm 35 now. I am so incredible nervous about going. I have been in "recovery" for the past 5 years but since I had my daughter 3 months ago, my body issues are causing me a lot of anxiety again. I have also been suffering from postpartum depression too. The guilt I feel for my feelings and anxieties are so extreme right now. I am scared everyday for falling back into my old ways. Since I've been in recovery, all my anxieties have shifted. I honestly think it's because I don't have the ability to binge/purge to get through them. It has been really hard.

So I am really nervous about the group not being accepting of me. I look "normal". Maybe even overweight. I am 5'7 and am about 150 lbs. I'm about 5-10 lbs away from my Pre-Baby weight. Most would say that is great, but for someone that has extreme body issues, this is horrible. I am so afraid of not being accepted and being judged by this group. I know that I have to make it there though. Getting there is the hardest part. Once I'm there, I'm sure I will be fine.

I need this, I really do. I want to be happy and healthy for my daughter. I want her to be proud of me. I don't want her to go through what I did either. Oh and did I forget to mention what this is doing to my marriage? I'm scared about that too. My ED thoughts are taking over again and I just need them to disappear.

Hello Minrenae. How did the support group go? Did you continue to attend? I can relate to what you said about worrying about not being accepted because you are of normal weight. This is exactly how I feel when I go to my depression support group. I have severe depression but I've gotten really good at "appearing" somewhat normal. I struggle with compulsive overeating and bulimia and am interested to know how an ED support group works. Anyway, I hope things are getting better for you. Please continue to post.

-B