Doing some nice for a partner with ED

[neufena]

Hi,

My girlfriend is in recovery for an ED. She's been doing well but is having a little rough patch with other things in her life right now all while maintaining her recovery and being there for me. I want to do something nice to cheers her up and show her how much I love her. I realized that all my usual things are did related. Cook a nice meal, treat us to a takeaway etc. Any suggestions on something I can do to surprise/treat her which won't be triggering or daunting for her.

Thanks

[bigeekgirl]

I guess it would somewhat depend on the nature of the ED and her interests/love languages. It's so natural to use food that way. Small gifts of love like a single flower, if she's into that. For me, that wouldn't be good. A foot/hand or neck massage with nice smelling oil. If appropriate to your living situation, doing a talk for her without pointing it out for "credit."

Maybe, it could be something you could ask her, too? It would likely mean a ton for you to have considered it.

[neufena]

I took your advice and asked her, and I've ordered a 'recovery' cookbook to see if we can find something she'd be comfortable if I cooked for her.

You mentioned a massage would be nice. Where or how would I learn how to give one? I never have and would hate to get it wrong but I think she'd enjoy that.

[bigeekgirl]

What a wonderful gift idea! I didn't think to mention before that my husband and I, as well as his family keep Amazon wish lists because sometimes it's better to know what people want. You can put anything on it, from another site or just a note.

For massage technique. Maybe YouTube? If not, a book, perhaps. It would be cool if you could find a class locally but I don't know if that's a thing.

[neufena]

Thank you, I found the book on Amazon. It has recipes and recovery stories. I talked to her about it first as I didn't want it to be a surprise that was daunting to her but she liked the idea and thought it would be good. I'll let you know what she thinks when it arrives.

Thank you for being so helpful and understand with me. I'm a bit useless and don't want to fuck it all up with her.